The one piece of advice you need about womanhood

Forget all the other pieces of advice you have heard

This one actually matters........

 

As you prepare to become a "full adult" and as you move into new phases of life you will often encounter "shoulds " for each stage. These messages of what you should be doing can come from family members, friends, teachers, mentors, or targeted posts on social media (have you noticed that things are placed on your timeline based on your searches or demographics?). I have read more than my fair share of "What you should do by the time you are 30" or "Things to do in your 20s" type posts and I want to share my own wisdom.

Life is a unique experience for each person. I have known women close to my grandmother's age that went back to school for a first or new degree. I have met a woman that decided to take up sky diving at the ripe age of 70. Living your life based on others, especially others who don't know your story, is a great way to set yourself up for failure and disappointment. You will be trying to meet guidelines for someone else's life and may find later that you haven't done what you want to do with your life. Another side effect of reading and subscribing to these lists is thinking that if you haven’t been able to check things off yet that you should just throw in the towel. i.e. haven’t started college by 20= school's not for me.

So with this in mind, my advice is much more practical and it involves clothes.



 

One piece from my Cato's shopping trip

When you are in school {high school and college}there are always opportunities to purchase a shirt for this or that thing. Also there are plenty of times when you can get shirts for free. These shirts can seem meaningless and may be something you consider tossing when you are "so done with childish things". I would suggest keeping some and also getting a few of them in a size or two bigger than you currently wear.

1. Not everyone gains size changing weight as they age, but everyone's body changes (boobies, babies, muscle gains)
2. Nothing can prepare you for how nice fitting into a high school or college shirt in your 30's feels
3. People stop giving you free shirts as you age and when you have to pay to stay in a hotel, pay for away from home food etc. for reunions trust me you will want a shirt in school colors that is $free.99
4. There will come a time when you want to remember the experiences that made you who you are, for many people those times occur in school

End practical advice, go enjoy life.

What its like turning 30

This post was originally going to be titled "How I Know I'm Old" but I could hear the mouths of everyone reading over 30 so I chickened out. 

I want to preface this by saying I am not old. I know in the grand scheme of things I am not old. BUT in terms of how old I have previously been thus far in life....I am old.

That time I asked for a robe for Christmas

1. I find most hip hop/rap either incredibly stupid or am appalled by its disgusting nature. 
2. I can't stomach most pop music because it repeats the same 10 words over and over though that is what I used to love about it 
3. I was picked for a Anti-aging product test, 30 is not old enough for advanced intervention facially, at least not for me. 
4. The idea of dating and dressing up has lost its appeal.... Can't I just wear my sweats?
5. I wait each week to see where the new grays will pop up. I remember being excited about them before.  Now I dread them,  because they are stubborn and short and I will have to wear wigs when I am fully gray.
6. I take a lot of pictures like this....
   
   
7. And the most annoying of all of these is the aches and pains. If I hit my finger today it will hurt the rest of the week, but I won't remember the reason. If I sit how I've always sat my knees will randomly decide they have had enough. Or I will switch positions on the couch and strain my hip (like literally this happened to me).

I have been very upset but this new thoughtful music selector me. Why do I care so much what idiotic thing a rapper used to rhyme his verses? Why can't I mindlessly sing along like I used to?

I think the answer to this is that now I care what my choices say about me. I am a professional and a person that hopes to be a parent one day. I think it matters who I support and represent through my choices. I also can't be a hypocrite when I talk to my under 18 clients. I have led discussions about healthy music so being caught in the grocery store parking lot singing along to "Trap Queen" might not be a good look.

Overall really my only complaint with getting "old" is saying goodbye to some facets of the old me. Though I can say that I am really enjoying so many aspects of this stage of life. This year - first as a 30 year old- I have crossed many things off of my to do list. I began singing again, I broke my dance training hiatus, and participated in two productions that built my acting skills.

I am more adventurous and realize that there is no time like the present. While as a child I may have dreamed of being a dancing, singing, acting celebrity. I never imagined finding a passion in my career field that was in no way related to these things. For many years I felt that this career path meant that I had to give up those dreams that were still very much a part of my being. This year I said "that's stupid, you dream for a reason".

So that is it my wisdom about getting "older". Things will change, so will you, but you can be an even greater you. If you want to, and put in the work to get there.