Do you want what you can't have?

For several years I have been wondering why it was that the guys/men I liked did not reciprocate my feelings. While the guys I wanted nothing to do with or had dated once or twice were on me like bees on honey.

 I am currently experiencing a case of the latter, though I have never even actually gone on a date with him but I digress. I think I have it figured out....they want what they can't have. While the guys I do like know they could have me and its not so fun for them. For quite a while I have been of the opinion that I must be giving of some sort of signal that I was waiting for my husband to walk through the door and get me pregnant. Though I had made a conscious effort not to be too excited about guys I liked. Though why wouldn't I be excited about this, because it happens so infrequently lately....again I digress. But I don't think that is the problem. Men that are looking for fun want something to chase, while men looking for quality want something that everyone else can't have. So the woman who doesn't melt at the first cute thing a man says is worth the chase.

Knowing this though really doesn't help me though, because I feel that I would have to play a game to find a man. I am so not into games. If I like you I should be able to act accordingly and have you reciprocate if you feel the same. Yeah I would like to get married but I am not dumb enough to try to force that situation on a man that is not a good match for me. I may need to make a sign for that I can wear when I meet people.  (As well as one that says I am 27 treat me like a grown up...sorry I am aging well maybe you should try it.) I feel like so many men are scared that a woman wants to get married it is ridiculous. What am I going to do knock you over the head, drug you, and drive us to Vegas and force you to say yes?But so many men I have met seem to not want to date you if you want to get married and they aren't ready. I just don't get it. I would love to have a 6 month relationship with  great guy more than no relationship for the last 5 years, as has been the case.

I really have been considering accepting the fact that I may never find a romantic relationship. With what I encounter in my town that may not be a bad thing. My mother doesn't like when I say this but, marriage isn't meant for everyone. Maybe I am one of the unlucky or lucky ones depending on how you look at it. 

 

Things that make you go...hmmm  

Reflection Exercise: Are You An Overthinker? Curly Nikki

Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Natural Hair Care: Reflection Exercise: Are You An Overthinker?:   by GG of PeaceLoveandPrettyThings The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~Elbert...

How important are numbers?

1,2,3,4....407

How important are numbers to you?

 

I have been thinking about perception a lot this week. I have discovered that from different points of view miscommunication can take place and cripple a relationship. I also had a very silly, vain moment this week when I did my weigh in. I may be sharing too much in this moment but...I make it a point to look at myself pre-shower (unclothed) and look for the positives, self affirm etc. So after I weighed in I looked at myself again and saw so many more positives. All based on the fact that I weighed less than last week.

Though it is great that I am losing weight, which is my goal, its not great that I thought I looked better because I weighed less. Why did that extra pound make such a difference? Because I value numbers.

I have also heard people say that you should know someones credit score before dating/marrying. Though this is a good thing to know I wonder how many good men/women have been passed over because they are 20 pounds too heavy or small. Or because they didn't make enough money, had a bad credit score etc. I know that I have factored in a man's size when considering if I should date him, and I regret it.

I mean my ultimate goal is to find someone to share my life with. Does that mean that he should be numerically perfect for me or perfect for me in the ways that matter?

Frank Ocean, the music love of my life

Have I mentioned how I love Frank Ocean? Hear him below from SNL with John Mayer.