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Monday, November 5, 2012

Golds and kids

Dating in Waco...
When I was in high school dating a guy with gold teeth was acceptable, almost cool. I mean they looked like rappers and what teen aged girl in the 90's- 00's didn't love a rapper? As I attended college and learned things, becoming a women in the process the things that I looked for in a man changed greatly. Rappers though still entertaining often lacked in substance. It often seems they are chasing the material over the more intangible gains one can find.
When I returned to my home town after college I often ran into men I knew in high school. They often times still seemed to have the same goals as they did 10 or more years ago. I usually go out with them on the premise of what I knew of them in high school but later find that they are lacking in growth similar to mine. How exactly do you tell a man that his gold teeth are now a turn off for you and you were hoping to find a man with less than 1-2 children?
I am all for a hard working, manual labor type of guy, my dad is such a man. But I really want to find someone with at least the possibility of upward movement at work, as well as the desire to move up in the world. I grew up struggling and I don't want to ever experience that again. When a 25 + man tells me that his goal in life is to be a rapper I cringe a little. Its like my desire to be a professional dancer, or  a good basketball player from high school hoping to go pro along with the thousands of others with the same dream.  Its great to dream but when you never put your hands on an attainable goal it seems like you can go forever holding on to that goal that may never come true.
Now back to the child issue, don't get me wrong I love children. I have worked with them since I was one. But dating a man with children is so complicated. There is usually an issue of one or the other parent not completely being over the other. There are is the issue of visitation which limits the amount of time for dating. There is also the issue of timing for meeting the child/ren and any issues this causes for mom. I have had guys want to take me to meet their children on the first date, or the ones you date for months that never even consider you meeting their child which begs the important are you in their lives? Dating is hard enough with out complicating things more with baby mama drama....I couldn't resist the phrasing.
I really feel that I am just over the whole dating thing. The men I want don't seem to feel the same, those that I would consider dating often have the child/gold problem, and those that chase me seem not to really know me so I doubt their intentions. Maybe I will forever be single and crabby....but I guess I would have nothing to talk about if I had someone great to date :)

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