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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I have developed a philosophy to limit the negativity in my life. Most recently this led me to the decision to "unfriend" a co-worker both in the virtual and real world. I struggle with this because I am a mate-for-lifer.
I had always found her communication and friendship style a little lacking. There were put-downs, Facebook stalking of a guy that I was dating and constant questioning about my love life. I also felt that there was some jealousy on her part. I did a lot of work to try to build her self-esteem by encouraging her, but it didn't seem to take. Everything came to a head when she discussed how hot a guy that I previously dated was and then stated that she would be intimate with him, did I mention this was in a car full of my co-workers including my boss.
I am a very private person and would like only my best friends to know what is going on in my personal life and then for them not to discuss it in public. I was dumbfounded by this turn of events. There was yelling and then she ended by telling me that I needed to unfriend a hot guy that we both know that she has a crush on. For a second I thought I was back in middle school were a crush meant ownership.
I had a run in with her and when I froze when she greeted me expletives could be heard from her. This is the exact thing I need less of. It also reiterated that she doesn't know me as I don't handle conflict well and do all I can to avoid it. But now that one awkward moment is out of the way I can go about my positive life with one less negative weight on my shoulders.

3 comments:

  1. I had to do that once...it was awkward but my ex "co-worker" got the message...just because we work together doesn't obligate us to be friends

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  2. It's a shame that you saw her as negativity, but others saw her as trying to help you.

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    Replies
    1. There is always room for different opinions. I am sure in her way she was tying to help me. I am not sure though how telling me what to do and saying what she would like to do to a person I used to date was helping me. I am also not sure how discussing my personal affairs in a car full of our co-workers was helpful.

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