The thirst
An epidemic that seems to be spreading fast. Where a male or female does anything for a the opposite sex because they are yearning for attention or sex. Only way to be cured is to get what they are desperately needing. Seems incurable tho..
If you are unfamiliar with "the thirst" don't worry so was I until it happened to me.
As you know if you have read me before I have been single for most of the last decade, I sound older when I say that :). This has resulted in more frequent inquires about why I am single, a push from others to go on dates more often, more weddings and couplings of my friends, and an increased feeling of aloneness.
I have always been the type of person to keep a small circle of friends and to keep myself very busy with work, educational attainment, and hobbies. At some point since I moved to a new town and moved away from the familiar my usual methods of keeping my mind occupied have faded away. So when I am home on a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night and all of my 5 friends are busy living popping social lives I have too much time to think about how alone I am.
This has resulted in some very desperate things on my part which I have to beg myself forgiveness for. These things have included texting a guy who is obviously not interested in me (evidenced by his no longer calling, skyping, or texting me daily as per usual), calling up random people I associated with that obviously are not thinking of me, and a general perking up when any attractive man appears in my field of vision.
I have to do better.
So this Sunday I did a DIY project to update some new pieces of furniture that I acquired. I realized how much I enjoy creating, painting, and rocking out and singing badly. I also went on a date with a guy I usually would not have. I enjoyed myself and did not think about marrying him (too many times). Hey I'm a work in progress.
I am also doing a bible study regarding Love, Romance, and Marriage and it made me wonder if thirst is necessarily a bad thing. Jesus wants us to love others as he loved us. He wants us to be self sacrificing for the love of others. I don't believe that it is unreasonable to desire to have someone in my life that I want to tell "I love you". While I can see how being thirsty could be a turn off, it is also human nature. If no one loves a child that child will always seek love and have issues relating to others as they grow. If no one loves the dog you bring home you are likely to see many poor behaviors out of fear and a desire to be wanted.
Why then do people shame you for wanting something we are made to desire? Human life is all about building and nurturing relationships. Babies are born from people with relationships. Babies are needed to continue all life (with the exception of those self impregnating creatures out there).
So my plan henceforth is to continue to embrace my thirst, God wants me happy and coupled to give and receive love to the person he created for me. But in my thirst I will not (Okay I will try not to) harm myself in the process, i.e reaching out to old flames, or almost flames, expressing my feelings to someone who is emotional delayed (more than once), or have crazy hopes for someone I barely know.
I will also continue my thirst in regard to professional and educational attainment. I have already learned to love me. I want to learn to love others fully and in a manner befitting a queen.
Happy Tuesday!
~Love
