We were catching up after years of not speaking to each other. He inquired about my marital status and I told him that I hadn't had much luck in the dating department. I was telling him that I had met many guys who just weren't settled or serious. He suggested that I be patient with finding someone and stated that some idiot would get lucky and land me soon. I replied "I don't want some idiot!" To which he coolly replied..."we are all idiots" until one day we aren't.
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First I just have to say how good it was to hear him say that
he was pretty idiotic when we dated in college
Then I was like wait what?
For him this magic day happened when he had children and found that material things didn't mean as much as financial security. I have to say that even though this didn't come at a time that benefited me I am really happy for him and the woman he is with now. Every person deserves to see the fruit of their labor and 10 smiles for every tear shed.
So this made me think a bit, should I really be evaluating guys on where they are now or by their potential. Who is to say they won't have that light bulb moment when they are with me?
By no means though do I suggest you stay with a man that treats you poorly waiting on them to "wake up". I take this to mean that those guys who I dated just weren't ready to let go of the idiot training wheels. It really just validated me and removed that "what's wrong with me" thought that plays in the back of my mind.
I feel more confident that the next time things go astray in a relationship that I will be able to just keep moving and pray that man comes out of his fog for the next woman he is with.
It isn't news to me that men and women develop at different rates, but I really thought by age 29 I wouldn't still be waiting on men to grow up. Cheers to all the idiots out there!