Songs/poems from the past

I found a few poems/songs that I wrote as an adolescent. I don't know how good they are but hey I was a teen/preteen so don't judge me *smile.

"Living a normal life, ain't that normal."- dancer.s

"When things don't go your way what do ya do? Do ya cry all day? Oh no, no not me. Oh no, no not me. La la la la Oh yeah I cry. Oh yeah I die but, am I alone?" - dancer.s

"Do you ever just sit and look out the window at the cars as they go by? Do you ever wonder if you're along? Sometimes I wonder if I'm alone. Pause Am I alone? Are you alone? Are we alone? No, no, no we're not alone. Repeat We have each other."- dancer.s

"Shield your face children hide it away. I don't want 'cha to see what's goin' on today, this world we live in just ain't right. It seems that everyone wants to pick a fight. (Apparently this was the spoken word or rap part next) Yo, yo, yo I wanna change the tempo a little bit. Come on, come on let's change the world people. Lets change the world people."- dancer.s

Easter forgiveness

I am a total believer in signs and that all things happen for a reason. During the Easter holiday I ran into an old friend of mine twice. I still had negative feelings about this friend due to things that she had done that affected me negatively in the past. I made a lot of decisions based on her opinion and valued her input highly. During high school she and my other best friend completely stopped talking to me and did not do so again until close to our graduation.
I always wondered what I had done to them and how I could get back in their good graces. I thought it was because I did not experiment with some of the things they had, was too boring or something along those lines. I found out after graduation that one of my best friends had actually been the one to do something against me.
I then transitioned from sad to mad. Over the years we would exchange pleasantries if we ran into each other, but I always heard derogatory terms when thinking of her. I finally realized this year that I have to forgive her. Not for her, because I don't think there is some sort of forgiveness sensor that she will pick up on. Because it is better for me. I hold on to things for a long time because I spend too much time thinking about how others feel. I don't really understand impulsive people as so many of my actions have come after careful deliberation. As this happened during Easter I thought W.W.J.D and for course the simple answer is forgive. He has already forgiven her, why am I still judging her for something she did as an adolescent I am sure it was hard on her too and that is why she couldn't face me. If she had been shameless we would still be friends until I found out what happened.
Forgiveness the gift that keeps on giving:)

Unrealistic private expections

So I have been trying so hard to have my blog read by the "masses" :) Now it seems that the inspiration for my initial blog entry has happened upon my blog. I feel conflicted about this. My first thought was to edit or remove the post. Or to remove the places I have listed the URL for my blog. There is also the other part of me that always wanted her to know exactly how I felt, but didn't want the words to come out of my mouth. I hate confrontation and go to great lengths to avoid it.
At this point there is nothing to be done it was read, maybe by the infamous former friend.... and I thought I had enough things to think about. :) Oh life you never fail to disappoint.
I have been thinking about this relationship recently and wondering if I didn't just react to my initial emotions to hastily. It would all be so much easier if I had just acted as if nothing happened. But I also think just as I have to adjust to how my friends are, they have to do the same for me. I don't know what I could have done prior to the incident to prevent it or to prepare myself for it. I can't expend too much energy in trying to do so. I am who I am, I think how I think, and I feel the way I feel. I can't change how people interact with me, but I can choose who I interact with.
I do miss my friend and the good things about the relationship, but I don't miss the negative things that I thought about myself and my relationships when talking to this friend about them. So que sera, sera. I wish happiness and success to all of my friends current and former. I also claim happiness for myself.

Proud Teacher

So this year I started something new with my youngest group of dancers. Instead of just focusing on the dance that we will perform at the end of the year, I have also started doing combos every two weeks. The aim of this was to get them really thinking and feeling in hip hop. They take so many other classes (ballet, jazz, lyrical, modern) that if we only do one dance in hip hop it is still pretty foreign to them.
Today I had them make up their own hip hop combo and the proud non-mama in me came out. Yes the dance was just my moves put in a new order but they had their hip hop faces on and really thought about what moves worked best with the music. I love it when a plan comes together :)

Stacia and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

So yesterday was a, for lack of a better word, sucky day. I found out that I would be moving a child out of town and everything that was supposed to occur on a certain time table took twice as long as I planned. I was not in control of the days events and missed out on another obligation to complete this surprise day. My 8 to 5 day turned into a 10 to 10 day.
At some point during the day when I was whining to myself I realized that for me this day was an inconvenience for the child I was moving it was a possible life altering day. One that may change the course of his life. At that moment I stopped pitying myself and allowed the day to progress as it was anyway. I also tried to make the day as smooth form my kiddo as I could.
Look at me experiencing emotional growth and stuff :) It only took me 4 1/2 years in this job to get over myself and put things in perspective.