Taking care of number one

A chance encounter last night has really brought to light the positive changes I have started to make in my life. I have been trying really hard to make decisions that may not feel good in the moment but I know are the best for me in the long run. I have also really decided not to settle for anything that is not what I feel is what God has in mind for me. For instance I don't think God wants me to settle for a man who is inconsiderate and self-centered. I would love to be with someone that I can dote over and who will do the same to me. A man who wants me to dote over him but gives the line of "you know I am not affectionate" as an excuse for him not doing the same is not good enough.

I have also been limiting the amount of situations I allow myself to invest in that will bring more stress to my life. I have a tendency to take on other's problems and attempt to fix them. I can't heal the world and every problem in it. I can be there for people without stressing myself over their issues and that is what I plan to do.

I would normally say that is is selfish for me to "take care of number one", but with all that I do for others if I don't do this who will? Along that same train of thought if I don't take care of me how long will it be before I am of no use to those that I help?

Take care of you :)

Passion

Several times a year I say to myself "You should stop dancing, you are no spring chicken, you aren't going pro, it's too much commitment". Various factors play into this: stress of dancing on top of having a grown up 9 to 5, drama with younger dancers, drama with older dancers, students who know it all, student who have great potential but don't always see it, a body that is tired and often injured, input from my non dancing friends and family.
But every year the first (in this year's case second) week of June that changes. Why you ask? Because it is our annual dance recital. There is a problem each year, usually injury, last year asthma, this year a weird reaction with asthma medications. Nonetheless I get on that stage and dance and actually get to perform and I come alive. In that moment I don't care what guy didn't call me back, what student said what or how much work stresses me out. When I come off stage and get a text from a friend or family member that they loved a certain dance I was in or move we did I beam from inside. When I watch my students do a move they initially struggled with or show emotion they refuse to show in practice I am happier than I can imagine in those stressful times.

So if you have a passion in life go after it until you can't any more and then find a new way to go after it. My body has always hurt me. It takes me much longer to recover than it used to. But when I can't dance the way I do now, I can always just do low impact moves. Dance is  my passion and without it my world would be a very sad shade of blah....

Recital!

It seems that no matter what I try to think about with our dance recital coming up it is all I can think about. So, this year I have been hoping to make it through recital with no new injuries. -Back story.....every year at recital I injure myself in a new way.
So I have tried stretching each night before bed and taking it easy. In just a few days I will see if this has done any good. Recital is June 9th and 10th!!!!!

It will be so exhilarating to be on the stage again and after the initial jitters are gone just living on the stage. If only every day could be a performance.....