Ms B

A warm smile,
a warmer heart,
a kind word,
an unchanging positive view,
faith in life and your place in it,
experience that has made you this secure,
a smart ass reply to those too negative to receive the positive,
years of "free love" and fun,
advice that is hands off

All of these things describe a woman who's warmth is too great to measure.  A woman that is like a grandmother to me who's health and wellness is ever on my mind. Until you are well enough to sit in your chair and share a much needed talk with me, there will be a sadness in my heart. But I have faith that what the Lord has in store for you is what is best and I know that it was his plan for you to enter and change my life forever. Thank you.

Boxed in

In life we often encounter boxes, by this I mean preconceived notions that others have of us. Not only those but the limits that we place on ourselves based on our self esteem.
My boxes are shy, innocent, goody two shoes, loner, mean etc.
I don't feel that I really personify any of these but give of the appearance of them at times. I have often utilized many tools to keep people at arms length such as being mean to guys that I am afraid to open up to, playing innocent so that I am not judged negatively for my mis-steps and seeming shy because I don't feel that everyone should be privy to the real me.
I wonder at times why I do these things and why I allow others beliefs about me to actually leak into my self concept. I am quiet at times, loud at others, morally driven but a sinner nonetheless, a great and loyal friend and so nice that at times I give too much of myself to those I love.
I challenge everyone to live up to the greatest you, you can be and to not live in any box you don't like. Instead of arguing with those who tell you who you are show them by surprising them with your actions. This is also my challenge to myself and I can't wait to see the change that it will have on my own self concept.

Blog topic of the day to come later, stepping out of your box and the boxes others have made for you

When teasing isn't funny

Everyone has experienced teasing at some point in their lives. It can sometimes be a weird feeling in which you want it to end, but also pretend it doesn't bother you as that is what is expected.
Have you every asked why you pretend? If something hurts your feelings why humor the person that is causing you pain? Isn't most teasing based on truth? If so then is it really all in good fun or just a way for others to point out your short comings in blame free way?
I challenge the philosophy that you should simply play along when the teasing is painful for you. I am by no means against light hearted joking between friends that is very loosely (if at all) based on reality. But in a socieity where kids are encouraged to take a joke or laugh at themselves, and bullying is rampant how are we suppposed to know where to draw the lines?

*Just random thoughts from the sensitive child from your elementary school class :)

Second guessing

Today I find myself second guessing some recent decisions I have made. I also wonder if maybe I am too sensitive, ask to much of others and overreact. I am sure similar thoughts occur to others so I have developed a few affirmations that I need to tell myself on days like this.

I am the way God intended me to be.
Not everyone will like me, that is okay.
Everyone that comes through your life is not meant to stay.
It is okay to do things others may not understand for my own sanity.

I wonder if you have to spend too much time contemplating a decision do you already have your answer?

Advice: When to heed

I have often asked friends and family for advice in my relationships and other situations. I have noticed that because I value their opinion so much it often alters my view about my situation. This leads me to the question of: When should you heed other's advice and when should you simply live in your own thought processes?

I have developed a philosophy to limit the negativity in my life. Most recently this led me to the decision to "unfriend" a co-worker both in the virtual and real world. I struggle with this because I am a mate-for-lifer.
I had always found her communication and friendship style a little lacking. There were put-downs, Facebook stalking of a guy that I was dating and constant questioning about my love life. I also felt that there was some jealousy on her part. I did a lot of work to try to build her self-esteem by encouraging her, but it didn't seem to take. Everything came to a head when she discussed how hot a guy that I previously dated was and then stated that she would be intimate with him, did I mention this was in a car full of my co-workers including my boss.
I am a very private person and would like only my best friends to know what is going on in my personal life and then for them not to discuss it in public. I was dumbfounded by this turn of events. There was yelling and then she ended by telling me that I needed to unfriend a hot guy that we both know that she has a crush on. For a second I thought I was back in middle school were a crush meant ownership.
I had a run in with her and when I froze when she greeted me expletives could be heard from her. This is the exact thing I need less of. It also reiterated that she doesn't know me as I don't handle conflict well and do all I can to avoid it. But now that one awkward moment is out of the way I can go about my positive life with one less negative weight on my shoulders.