Silver Lining Living

I remember hearing that "every cloud has a silver lining" and thinking that was a stupid way to say the situation won't suck forever. I never really agreed, how could there be a silver lining to losing a loved one or getting fired?

I experienced something recently that let me know that I am maturing as a woman and it is pretty awesome. A coworker of mine recently pointed out that I had been goofier than usual for several weeks. I, of course, quipped that I have been goofy all my life, but I realized that he was right. I thought about it and wondered if I was suppressing my feelings. I mean I have lost a loved one, a close former coworker (that was the subject of one of my earlier blogs) passed away, and I ended a relationship with a man I thought was perfect for me. So why was I so seemingly happy.

After pondering this for a while I believe that the reason I have been so much more like my normal self is that I am celebrating. I still wake up each day with the rest of my life ahead of me. I also made a choice to end a relationship with someone who was choosing not to put any effort into keeping me. That is a big deal! I didn't resort to name calling, I was clear about what my needs and expectations were, and when I saw that things were not changing after giving some time for change to happen- I got out. How mature am I?

I mean it still stings that someone who seemingly wanted to be with me so much in the beginning could give up and blame it on a busy schedule. Everyone everywhere is ALWAYS busy. Relationships are about making sacrifices and working to make things happen. It is true that things are often easier with the right person but you have to work at it as well. I will (I am sure) never know why things changed between us, but it doesn't matter.

Years ago I would still be in the relationship being neglected and sad, or I would have been breaking up and getting back together with him just trying to get him to see he needed to give me more. I am so proud that I made a decision to stick to my guns without being disrespectful. This was my first healthy, adult relationship. I am glad that I didn't ruin it by turning into a child because he couldn't own that he no longer wanted to date me. I hate when people push you away so they don't have to be the bad guy but hey at least I know that I am mature.

Yes that was shade.

 

I'm not completely reformed. :)

Day 14| My Strengths

Describe 5 strengths you have

 

 

 

 

Weaknesses then strengths eh 30 day challenge? Well as a social worker I should know all about the strengths perspective shouldn't I? I think it is so easy to see weaknesses in yourself and others because that is the nature of society. We focus so much on what is wrong with things or what is not the way we want it, when someone turns the tables on us its disconcerting. I have been thinking about this day's challenge since yesterday and don't feel certain that I have solidified 5 but here goes....

 

1. I'm strong. I have experienced the normal hard situations that most people go through as well as some other hard things that are less frequent in my life. I believe that I have been able to do so very well.
2. I am loyal. I go hard for my friends, supporting them, standing up for them, being an advocate for them. I value friendship very highly and love to find others who have the same value.
3. I am smart. I feel a little more confident saying this now that I have received my final grades this semester 3.91 in grad school. *blows fingernails and wipes on shirt* I also feel that along with this I am fairly street smart and intuitive. I really trust the feelings I get with no real explanation. Though at times this is clouded by my personal feelings.
4. I am very self aware when it comes to my feelings. I think I have made great improvements in this area in recent years. I know what I am feeling and why usually.
5. I'm caring. I love children, animals, and many people (: I will often try to help dogs I see  that are stray, and even cats if they are really in need. I love to smile at children at the store and help them when I can. I have been working with children since my first ever job in high school and I don't foresee this ending if I have anything to say about it.

 

So as I thought this was difficult for me and I got stuck half way through....gotta work on this.