Why I raise funds to cure MS

A few years ago I began fundraising and walking to find a cure for MS or Multiple Sclerosis. If you aren't aware of  what exactly that is a brief description would be: an inflammatory disease that involves the nerves, spinal cord, and brain. For more on the disease go to the  Definition I found on Wikipedia. I became interested in finding a cure when a friend and coworker of mine was diagnosed with the disease.
I had known my friend since my days in undergrad in the social work program at Tarleton State. She was my listening ear about the troubles of having roommates and one of the people I bounced ideas off of for paper writing. After we graduated we kept in touch about our respective job searches and it worked out that we both got interviews at the same place. We went on to be hired on the same day....crazy right. So we were super excited to start our social work careers together and have someone we knew to start off. We both had training in Austin every other week or so, we decided it would be nice to carpool. I drove most of the time and soon after a few days or weeks together I found myself getting annoyed with her. I am a introverted person as is she but after a while I need quiet time to decompress. But when you ride down to training with someone, sit in training with someone, travel back to the hotel with that same someone, and then eat dinner again with that someone its TOTALLY normal that they would annoy you at some point.
So we made it through training and she was once again my confidante about the crazy things that happened. She was invaluable to me and I like to think I was somewhat helpful as well. A few years into our careers in Child welfare she began to have some odd health issues. She had trouble walking because she felt numb in her feet, she was forgetful, and there was a scare that she had a stroke. When the long awaited diagnosis came I found myself very emotionally raw. I was unimpressed by the way that my coworkers felt about my reaction. I didn't feel supported by them and didn't want to lean on my friend.
I recall the day I found out she had MS, I was in my apartment crying about how young she was and how she needed to be able to play with her beautiful daughter as long as she wanted to play. While MS is not a death sentence, it can greatly alter your ability to do physical things. It is also very impacted by your stress level and child welfare work is inherently stressful. The disease is also very unpredictable and you don't know how each person will react or how each flare up will manifest.
After my initial emotional reaction I decided to throw myself into finding a cure. My friend told me that she would be participating in the MS Walk Waco that year. We did a bake sale and I requested donations from my friends and coworkers. In subsequent years we did similar things including  garage sales and my very popular gift set raffle. All of this fundraising culminates in a walk in which those with MS are supported by family and friends and receive information about the disease and treatment options.
It feels so great to know that what ever money I am able to raise could result in my friend living a long active life with her beautiful family. I have now moved to the Dallas area but I still plan to participate in the walk and fund raise what I can.

What causes are you passionate about and why? I think there are so many ways in which we can be helpful to those around us and so many ways in which we can do so. My hope would be that every person that is able would find a cause and throw themselves into it through work, play, action, and charity. If you need more of a push about why relief in action is needed click here to read another great story from a fellow blogger.

My friend and I at the 1st walk (I think)

My friend, her daughter, and myself at the walk before last

 Last year's walk, Summer helped me support

If you are interested in helping my donation efforts for this year follow this link My fundraising page.

 

I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

What I learned from going without

Back in May when I graduated from Graduate school I moved in with my parents in the DFW area. My dad got a house and was super excited about having a "home" again.

A few days ago "home" was less of a joy. My family and I spent about 3 days without the full use of our plumbing. This meant that we could not bathe/shower and could not flush our commodes. I was very upset about this because when you pay a good amount of money to stay in a home, you fully expect to be able to use the facilities.

I'm going to share the embarrassing things I did to get by during this time. I took "sink" baths (my mom has a much more colorful name for these hehe). I went to local businesses to do my "business". So while this was an uncomfortable time for me. I couldn't help but think about those for whom this is a normal thing.

If you have ever lived in Texas in the summer you know that a "wash off" will not cut it. So imagine that you have to go to work, go for an interview, or entertain your friends. The main thing that I noticed was simply not feeling confident and not wanting to get too close to people. I work from home and I didn't feel professional or up to work until I felt clean. I also worried when I had to go into patient's homes that I may not smell my best. I also struggled with the public-ness of having to go to public restrooms.

I only endured this for a few days and I never want this particular problem again. So just imagine that this is your life, and people are complaining about your smell, or running you out of their public restrooms for not being a patron. Imagine people judging you for not having a job, though you have no good place to go prepare yourself for one.

I wanted to share this because it helped me to think of others and their struggle when I experience someone down on their luck. I hope that someone else can also gain something from it as well.

Love

Tips from a former adoption worker

For a little over two years I worked as an adoption prep worker, which means I prepared children for adoption, selected homes for children waiting for adoption, monitored adoptive placements, and really had to get to know my children so that I could find appropriate homes for them. This work for me was very stressful because families can often look like a good fit and then for some reason the placement disrupts or breaks down. From my experience an adoptive placement disruption is harder on children than initial removal from their families of origin as their birth families rarely gave them up of their own free will. All together I worked in the child welfare arena for 5 plus years, I initially worked with family facing permanent removal of their children from their homes.

I learned many things during this time about all sorts of subjects including basic human nature. One of the things I never really got over was how seemingly easy it was for potential adoptive families to give up on children they wanted to make a part of their family initially. So here are some tips for those considering adopting especially those considering children that have been in foster care for several years.

• Don't get so caught up on diagnoses. Ask about the child's behavior from the caseworker and foster parents. Diagnoses are good information but don't automatically disqualify children from your search just because of a certain "unfixable" diagnosis.
• Whatever your ideal picture of the child/family after adoption is, let it go. The child will not meet these expectations, even if you have had children before you have not had a child with this child's story. Accept the child for exactly who they are and they will eventually do the same.
• Don't give up too easily. Try everything you can when things get difficult with your new child. Try radical things even, try everything. If you give up after a few hard times the child will feel they were right to have reservations and will be that much more resistant to ever trying again.
• Think about your birth children and their reactions to the new child. This sounds simple but you would be surprised at how many families fail to think of how they would handle this situation. You have a stronger bond with the children you have had longer, naturally, and if the "new" child causes them some sort of distress your natural instinct may be to protect your birth child from the adoptive child.
• Believe the history of a child. If you are made aware that a child has sexualized behavior due to their past and you are told what this looks like, don't be surprised if you see this same behavior. Again it sounds simple but you would be surprised at what it feels like to see this in your home with people you know.
• Be prepared to grow and change. Just like having a child naturally you will learn new things, be tested, and have to change. You need to be prepared for this even though you can't completely prepare for every eventuality.
• Remember the child is not a pair of jeans. You should enter into this with a no return policy. Just like the way marriage used to be. Think of the commitment from day one, for better or worse. Can you handle the worst of what the child has displayed in the past? If not this is not the child for you.
• Expect the worst. Children/teens, often subconsciously, will push you away and resist bonding with you. Allow them this room, give them space, but also make yourself available.
• Celebrate the small accomplishments. Did they come home and tell you about their day? Did they not curse you out today? Did they initiate healthy physical touch with you? Hooray!
• Involve the child's birth family from month 1 or 2. If the child is allowed contact with their birth family, don't fear this. Encourage this, be a part of it, discuss it in therapy, have some therapeutic phone calls with the therapist as well.  You don’t want to be seen as a boundary to their past/ family.
• Attend therapy. As a family, a couple, and maybe individually. You are undergoing a MAJOR change and feelings you hadn't expected are surfacing, don't be afraid to address them.
• Take time for yourself (selves). This is vital maintain your independence and romance. You don't want to get to a place where you blame the child for a change in your freedom/ coupledom.
• Throw out the time table. Some families are perfectly bonded and adjusted in six months; some don't reach that point until after the adoption is finalized. What's really important is getting to that place that is right for your family.

These are just a few tips that came to mind when I considered this topic. I hope that they can help those thinking of adopting, awaiting a placement, or adjusting as a family. Adopting a child is such a noble and amazing thing to do and it is one of the hardest things I think as well.

Day 21 and 22| Superpowers/ my life plan....

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do first?

 

 

Though I would love to fly, I think if I could have a superpower it would be cosmic rewind or mind reading. First there are a few things that I would go back and relive or change what I had done in a few circumstances. When I envision myself doing this I have the knowledge I have now so I would still learn the lesson I learned from the situation. Though for the most part I believe that what I learned was necessary, there are many things I don't think I should have had to go through to be a wise and experienced person. The mind reading would pretty much help with some of the mistakes/missteps that I feel I have made in my life.

 

 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

 

In five years I see myself working in a therapeutic position, and considering my move to private practice. This has been a dream of mine for quite some time and I am excited about getting there at some point. In 10 years I see myself in private practice with a family including children. In 15 years I hope to be considering a move to teaching social work so that means I should have some articles published by that time. I also hope to have my massive student loans paid off by that time. 

Day 19 and 20| Significant childhood memories/my dream city

If you could live anywhere where would it be and why?

I think it would haven't be Atlanta, Georgia. I have visited there twice with my previous job. I found the views to be awesome. Driving on the crowded highway with a view of trees taller than any I had ever seen, was no where near as irritating as it is in Austin or Dallas. I also found the people there to be nice. I was able to get my hair done by people specializing in natural hair My ATL hair experience and to take a dance class.My ATL dance experience I think it's the perfect blend of big city and smaller town. But this is all based on two one day visits so what so I know. 

Describe 3 significant memoirs from your childhood

One significant memory was starting head start, I remember being very anxious separating from my mother. I also remember getting a spanking there because I didn't go to sleep during nap time. After this time i basically learned to think independently and to be sneaky. I wasn't sleepy and I thought it was ridiculous for me to have to sleep when i wasn't sleepy and wasn't talking. from then on i wouldlay quiet  when they came to check who was asleep. I also remember taking a trip to a pet store specializing in fish. I remember thinking for a long time that it was some sort of magical aquarium or something :)

Another big thing from my childhood was the death of Selena Quintanilla. I remember watching the ,live of her life over and over. This time frame really increased my love for the Latin culture. I started listening to Latino music heavily during this time. I also remember really being upset that such a beautiful soul could be killed for no reason. I think it was the first time that I was aware that good people could be killed or die "before their time".

Another super significant childhood memory happened on several occasions. I was impacted each time I moved and left the friends I had made. After 5th grade I entered a new school region and had ony one friend from elementary school with me in middle school. Luckily this was my best frond and I made It through. The loss of my middle school friends was MUCH worse. I remember staying late and making plans to keep in touch with all of them and signing things, and tears....wow I just got sad all over again. It was a hard transition because my group of friends were very close. 

Day 18| Forgiveness

What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

 

 

The most difficult thing I have had to forgive is betrayal. I initially thought of being cheated on or having a friend stab me in the back. I realized that these both go back to betrayal. When you are in a committed relationship and your partner cheats on you, they have betrayed your trust. When you have a best friend and she becomes romantically involved with you partner that is betrayal of your friendship.

 

I have been betrayed many times by many people. I have come to accept that part of life is trusting even if there is a significant chance that your trust will be betrayed. A part of what makes trusting so hard is the possibility that you will regret having trusted someone. But it shouldn't keep you from hoping for the best and being trustworthy yourself. It took me quite a while to forgive those who have betrayed me, but I find that it is necessary for me.

 

Harboring anger and resentment toward someone that has betrayed you only hurts you. Most of the time the other person is out living their life carefree while you are stuck. Also forgiving is helpful for those that you will become involved with after the betrayal. You won't ever find a trustworthy person by trusting no one. You have to risk it daily to find those worthy people. 

Day 17| What I wish I was great at

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

I want to start by saying, I wish I were great at blogging daily such as is required for a blogging challenge. I graduated this morning and am moving tomorrow so I have been tots busy (as the teens I teach would say). And back to the show....

I wish that I was great at accepting my own greatness. I often compare myself to others and struggle with critiques. I find this funny because I often try to teach my dancers to accept critiques and to give critiques in a less negative way. I feel that many of the things that I have encountered growing up have impacted my desire to appear perfect. When someone calls attention to how humanly imperfect I am I struggle with this. I initially thought I wanted to be perfect, but I realize now that I accept that I am imperfect but want to appear to be the opposite.

As many people would attest, I am a work in progress and continue to work on this. I think that my education these past two years has helped a great deal in this area. I have been given much feedback in conjunction to being told what I do well. One of my professors labeled this "sprinkles", such as the sprinkles on top of a great ice cream sundae. When people give you critiques, try to think of them as sprinkles. Things that only make your awesomeness more awesome.

Love