My target haul!

In September I took a new job, it is exactly what I want to be doing but it is a position in which I earn less than I previously did. This has meant that I have had less money to shop. I love when I am able to find good deals.
Check on my finds from a recent shopping trip.

 

The pink and white stripped dog sweater was $3 and the proceeds go to the ASPCA. The knee socks were $2.50 each and really help keep my legs warm in the winter months. The Oxfords were under $8 and have replaced tennis shoes when I go casual at work.

Summer modeling her new sweater! So cute!!!

 

My first day wearing my new shoes.

 

So it is possible to work with less and still have the occasional opportunity to add to your wardrobe with some items or replace things. Glad I made that impromptu trip to Target!

How I reclaimed my weekends

For some reason I made the decision that weekends were for chores

 

 

So without fail every weekend I would guilt myself for not doing enough

 

Then I realized the weekends are for rest DAMN IT!

 

 

 

 

 

Pinterest to the rescue!!!

 

I created a simple way to keep my home clean/organized and rest on the weekends

 

 

This week was my first using this schedule. I didn't get everything completely done but I have no stress about finishing any more chores until the next scheduled days.

My weekends are for puppy time, family time, veg'ing out  (Just in time for Every Simpsons Ever), and spending times with friends. Oh and doing my hair, but not for cleaning my place.

 

 

Consider the weekend reclaimed!



All men are idiots

Before you get too angry let me explain....this is what an ex-boyfriend of mine told me recently.

We were catching up after years of not speaking to each other. He inquired about my marital status and I told him that I hadn't had much luck in the dating department. I was telling him that I had met many guys who just weren't settled or serious. He suggested that I be patient with finding someone and stated that some idiot would get lucky and land me soon. I replied "I don't want some idiot!" To which he coolly replied..."we are all idiots" until one day we aren't.

Source: Microsoft Word clip art

First I just have to say how good it was to hear him say that

he was pretty idiotic when we dated in college

Then I was like wait what?

For him this magic day happened when he had children and found that material things didn't mean as much as financial security. I have to say that even though this didn't come at a time that benefited me I am really happy for him and the woman he is with now. Every person deserves to see the fruit of their labor and 10 smiles for every tear shed.

So this made me think a bit, should I really be evaluating guys on where they are now or by their potential. Who is to say they won't have that light bulb moment when they are with me?

 

By no means though do I suggest you stay with a man that treats you poorly waiting on them to "wake up". I take this to mean that those guys who I dated just weren't ready to let go of the idiot training wheels. It really just validated me and removed that "what's wrong with me" thought that plays in the back of my mind.

 

I feel more confident that the next time things go astray in a relationship that I will be able to just keep moving and pray that  man comes out of his fog for the next woman he is with.

 

It isn't news to me that men and women develop at different rates, but I really thought by age 29 I wouldn't still be waiting on men to grow up. Cheers to all the idiots out there!

Fat Shaming- Why we can't love ourselves

I was never really worried about or even paid attention to my weight until I made the college dance team. It was then a requirement that we regularly weigh in front of the director and work out constantly. Often girls that did not "look good in the costume" did not make the cut. So for the past 11 years I have been worried about comparing to others in the body sense. Also since that time I have been struggling to control my weight, unsuccessfully I might add.

I believe that for some those two things are not unrelated. When I thought of food as nourishment and an occasional treat I never moved above 115-125. When food became something to control, that was overindulged in by the "fat" people I began to struggle to return to my previous size.


This sort of microscope on other's weight is rampant in the media especially where celebs are concerned. For instance look what is being said about Chris Brown.


Obviously not Chris Brown (used to avoid Copyright infringement)

This post from TMZ states that Chris was seen "bravely partying without a shirt on" and was Titled "These Rolls Ain't Loyal" as a spoof to his popular song.

Now don't get me wrong, Chris is by no means "perfect" but I think his body is his concern and not ours. 

If you wanted to find a list of "fat" celebs there is an actual website dedicated to this. http://celebs.answers.com/beauty/10-celebrities-who-got-fat

If you search Christina Aguilera google will suggest "Christina Aguilera weight loss"
One article found here displays this picture with the opening line "Now that is beautiful"



Source Microsoft Word

They even went as far as to have a doctor estimate how much she weighed in the first picture, how much she weighs now, and how she accomplished this.

 

 

Weight is a very personal thing. When there are many people commenting on one's

weight it makes it that much more difficult to actually keep it under control.

I for one am an emotional eater and hearing negative comments about my body only intensifies this...

keeping me further and further away form my goal

 

I would suggest that part of the reason that we (some of us) struggle with loving ourselves is the constant comparison that we are exposed to. Not only in schools but in sports and media. Think "Who Wore It Best". " Blank's Awesome Post Baby Body" etc.

 

If you don't love yourself today, you won't love yourself anymore when those 15lbs are gone.

 

 

Love  <3

October 2014 MS walk

Before I know it the next MS walk will be here. I am trying something new to raise funds this year. I am sure you have heard of GoFundMe.com I am giving this approach a shot. If you have even $1 dollar this would be greatly appreciated in my efforts.
Just as a reminder. I raise funds for MS because I have a friend with MS and I am hoping to find a cure and new treatments for her. If you want to know more about my journey with this read last years blogs about this subject Here, and here.

Thanks in advance!


Donate here

Recipe with Sargento Ultra Thin Cheese

I'm in Love!....with cheese

 

So for a while now I have been avoiding cheese/dairy products. I have been trying to watch my caloric intake and for a while I was tyring to determine a possible food allergy.

I'm so glad those days are over.

I love cheese and I think I forgot how much.

I was the queen of grilled cheese sandwiches in college.

Enter Sargento Ultra Thin cheese....

I found this lovely recipe on Pinterest and thought I would give it a spin.

 

Its rather simple....

1. Low calorie bread
2. 1-2 slices of Ultra Thin Sargento Cheese
3. A few slices of avocado
4. A few ounces of sliced turkey
5. Spray of olive oil cooking spray
6. A skillet
7. A few minutes
8. Voila yummy turkey, avocado, cheddar grilled cheese sandwich

I used mustard as a dipping sauce and found that I didn't need it with all the flavor this sandwich gave me. Thank you Sargento for bringing cheese back into my life.

The thirst is real!

The thirst

An epidemic that seems to be spreading fast. Where a male or female does anything for a the opposite sex because they are yearning for attention or sex. Only way to be cured is to get what they are desperately needing. Seems incurable tho..

From Urban Dictionary

 

If you are unfamiliar with "the thirst" don't worry so was I until it happened to me.

 

As you know if you have read me before I have been single for most of the last decade, I sound older when I say that :). This has resulted in more frequent inquires about why I am single, a push from others to go on dates more often, more weddings and couplings of my friends, and an increased feeling of aloneness.

 

I have always been the type of person to keep a small circle of friends and to keep myself very busy with work, educational attainment, and hobbies. At some point since I moved to a new town and moved away from the familiar my usual methods of keeping my mind occupied have faded away. So when I am home on a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night and all of my 5 friends are busy living popping social lives I have too much time to think about how alone I am.

 

This has resulted in some very desperate things on my part which I have to beg myself forgiveness for. These things have included texting a guy who is obviously not interested in me (evidenced by his no longer calling, skyping, or texting me daily as per usual), calling up random people I associated with that obviously are not thinking of me, and a general perking up when any attractive man appears in my field of vision.

 

I have to do better.

 

So this Sunday I did a DIY project to update some new pieces of furniture that I acquired. I realized how much I enjoy creating, painting, and rocking out and singing badly. I also went on a date with a guy I usually would not have. I enjoyed myself and did not think about marrying him (too many times). Hey I'm a work in progress.

 

I am also doing a bible study regarding Love, Romance, and Marriage and it made me wonder if thirst is necessarily a bad thing. Jesus wants us to love others as he loved us. He wants us to be self sacrificing for the love of others. I don't believe that it is unreasonable to desire to have someone in my life that I want to tell "I love you". While I can see how being thirsty could be a turn off, it is also human nature. If no one loves a child that child will always seek love and have issues relating to others as they grow. If no one loves the dog you bring home you are likely to see many poor behaviors out of fear and a desire to be wanted.

 

Why then do people shame you for wanting something we are made to desire? Human life is all about building and nurturing relationships. Babies are born from people with relationships. Babies are needed to continue all life (with the exception of those self impregnating creatures out there).

 

So my plan henceforth is to continue to embrace my thirst, God wants me happy and coupled to give and receive love to the person he created for me. But in my thirst I will not (Okay I will try not to) harm myself in the process, i.e reaching out to old flames, or almost flames, expressing my feelings to someone who is emotional delayed (more than once), or have crazy hopes for someone I barely know.

 

I will also continue my thirst in regard to professional and educational attainment. I have already learned to love me. I want to learn to love others fully and in a manner befitting a queen.

Happy Tuesday!

~Love 

Sargento Ultra Thin Vox Box from Influenster

Cheese Please!

 I was one of the lucky folks in the Influenster Nation to be chosen for a Sargento Ultra Thin Vox Box. I knew that when my box arrived it would not actually include cheese but that it would contain a voucher for the cheese and a gift. I was happily surprised by the adorable lunch kit that you see below. I went to my local grocer (Walmart this trip) and made the difficult decision of which ONE cheese I would get. I went with Mild Cheddar as it is one flavor that I consistently like.

 

When I got it home I decided to make a turkey, cheese, spinach tortilla wrap with mustard. I love Sargento products already because they are actual cheese products and you can taste the difference. I also found that the taste of the cheese was great and I felt less guilty eating it because each slice is only 45 calories. I found this more intriguing because it is not made with low calorie milk but by making the slices thinner than others.

 

Future cheese plans

I have not purchased more of the cheese as of yet, a girl can only eat so much in a week. I do plan to purchase this brand and flavor when I want cheese in the future. I plan to make some grilled cheese sandwiches with avocado this weekend. I also will remake the turkey/cheese wrap as well.

 

I am very excited that I was chosen for my first Vox Box so soon and I think it was quite apropos that it was cheese, given my love for it.

 

The Magnificence of the Social Work Profession -

Please take the time to read this great poem. Today marks the last day of National Social Work Month. I have spent time attending trainings (increasing my competency), Advocating for policies (fighting against social injustice), educating future social workers, celebrating the social workers I work along side, giving away two self care packets to those in the field, and assessing my own self care practices. I have really enjoyed this month celebrating myself and others. I feel especially in a profession that often is not understood it is important to really participate in those Nationally recognized dates.

The Magnificence of the Social Work Profession - SocialWorker.com

The hope of something new

There are times when things seem to be meant to be or more than a coincidence. There are some people that you meet that just seem like they were supposed to be in your life all along.

I have finally identified what I enjoy most about the first few interactions with a new potential romantic relationship.

 

How great does it feel that someone sees you and decides that they want you in their life....if only for a short time.

How wonderful is it to have someone actually listen to the story of your life for the first time and want to know more.

It feels even better for that person to then comment that you are a "cool person".

At times you can take the people in your life for granted because it has typically been many moons since they initially decided "Hey I want you to stick around in my life indefinitely". You take for granted that every day/ every interaction they decide that yes they want to keep on knowing you.

 

I am in awe of the fact that every day a select few people on this earth make the decision to actively foster a relationship with me simply because I am worth of their love and attention.

 

 

 

Social Work the Protected Title

As a social worker I feel a great amount of pride about what I do, but that doesn't make me a social worker. I often hear people describe the profession of social work with a job description. That's like saying a doctor is someone who listens to your lungs and looks down your throat. Though those are things a doctor may do as part of an exam, those things do not make one a doctor. In the same thought a social worker is not someone who assists with food stamps, or works at CPS. Though social workers can hold positions doing those things that is just the job.

 

Let me explain. Social work is a protected title much like a doctor, nurse, or attorney. To call oneself a social worker requires a license in social work, to get a license in social work you must have a degree in social work from an accredited university. So if you work at the food stamp office and have a degree in English you are a person who works in the social services industry but NOT a social worker. See this from the State Board of Social Work Examiners

 

   Licensure is required if you identify yourself as a social worker by using titles initials that create the impression that you are qualified or authorized to practice social work. This includes using any title containing the words "Social Worker" or initials such as LSW, or LMSW. The board may impose a civil or administrative penalty of not less then $250.00 or more then $5000.00 per day for each day an unlicensed individual holds them selves out to be a social worker.
 You are exempt from licensure if you do not represent yourself to the public - directly or indirectly - as a social worker and do not use any name, title, or designation indicating authorization to practice social work. More Here

 

There was once a time when many of the social services jobs that now employee those without social work licenses, required that employees be social workers. I believe this has something to do with the public belief that those are "social work" jobs. When I tell people that I am a social worker I often here "So you help people apply for food stamps/Medicaid/Medicare/TANF?" or " Oh so you are mean and make people fill out forms" or  "Oh  you take people's children away?". These are jobs that social worker's can do but not things we are necessarily taught to do in our degree programs. I believe I spent one or two days in undergrad on how to assist people with applications for public assistance. That was several years ago before everything was computerized, when I help clients with forms now I simply read the application and assist the client in answering what is asked. I also was not taught how to take people's children away. I was taught how to assess family functioning, to acknowledge child development including warning signs of delay, I was taught the etiology of mental illness and who this affects, I was also taught the demographics of which people abuse their children, I was taught methods of rebuilding families, ways to navigate systems, ways to pull communities together, how to affect change and assess for a client's willingness to do so, I was taught about chemical dependency, empathy, grief, therapy, and so many other things.

 

So forgive me if I stand up for my profession.

 

I am a social worker because I have the education, training, experience, and ethics to call myself a social worker. As a licensed social worker my clients can rest assured that if I do not follow my ethical code and for example talk about their situation to others without their express consent, I could face severe repercussions. If I fail to follow the Values and Ethics of my profession I could be fined, lose my license, be put on probation, or a combination of those three, as well as other sanctions. I am forbidden from having dual relationships with my clients or in having a personal relationship with them following our work together under many circumstances.  Ethical Code

 

I am also required by my licensure to maintain a certain degree of education as long as I am a practicing social worker. This means I must continue to learn and grow professionally so that I can use the most up to date knowledge in helping my clients. This includes ongoing training in ethics which helps protect clients.

 

Though I did work at CPS that did not make me a social worker, in fact many things I did at CPS were not in line with what my social worker brain would have had me do. I am a case manager now, but I am a social work case manager. I function out of a social work framework, I pull upon theories and evidence when I work with my clients. In a few years when I am done with clinical supervision I will work as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Meaning that I have the professional skill to offer psychotherapy to my chosen client population.

 

A part of being a social worker is advocacy: for human rights, clients, and the social worker profession. For that reason I felt it was necessary to clarify these things here. I am a proud social worker and I want others to know what a social worker is and what they can do.

 

 

                 

Why I'm a jaded single lady

*Warning* sarcasm and cynicism below

So...I have been without a relationship (that has lasted longer than 2 months) for the past 6 years. I have really gotten used to being single but it is not really what I wanted for my life. I have been wondering lately if I want to be married with kids because that is what I am supposed to want or if it is because that is truly what I want for myself. Any time I even mention accepting that I may be single for life there is never a shortage of women that chime in shaming me for not having faith. I think it goes back to what Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche says in Flawless by Beyoncé. We are taught that women must strive for marriage and careers/success come second to that. I agree that the same pressure is not put on men. Its more than a little annoying that people feel it is necessary to shame me for not thinking that marriage is in the cards for me. I agree that God has all power and control and a plan for my life. I don't know what that is, neither does any other woman I encounter. So how do they know it is not possible that I am meant to be single?

But...how did I get here? First let's start with the most recent dating disappointment. I went out with a friend after a dance event. I was having fun dancing and enjoying myself. A very personable man comes up and talks to me and because I am trying to up my flirt game I flirted with him. We danced and joked and were as my bestie would say boo'd up for a while. He asked for my number and I faked jealousy when he appeared to be flirting with other girls. When I didn't hear from him the next two days I was cool with that, it was just fun to be engaged for a night. Then in typical 30+ fashion he contacted me after two days. We had cute text conversations and I was excited to have a conversation with a man that didn't make me want to throw up a little in my mouth (I get so tired of repeating myself with the online dating I have been attempting). I mean he had everything: a good vocabulary, he could dance, and he was the type that could sale you a mink coat in the middle of Texas summer. Then the red flag was thrown he said "look I will never make a promise to you I can't keep. I promise to tell you anything you ask." Now if you have never been completely kept in the dark by a dog of a man this may not seem like that bad of a thing to say but I saw it for what it was. He was laying the foundation to tell me later down the road that I should have asked him a certain something and because I didn't ask he didn't lie. So I did a little research- his Facebook was squeaky clean, then I searched for his name which revealed a honeymoon registry, which led to another Facebook search, which led to a wife who only 3 months ago had a baby. REALLY!?!?

 

Its not much of a loss for me but just thinking that this is why I am single...even the married guys are no good. Don't believe me? I know a married man that I have known for a while that offered a few years ago to father a child with me, the old fashioned way, and yes he was married at the time. This is the third married man that has seemed not to care about his wife while trying to woo me. And trust me I am not the type to give off the vibe that I would be cool with that. There have also been some less "violent" offenders: I talked to a guy on a dating site about my back and other things and the last comment from him was "well I guess you won't be having any good sex soon". The guy who took me out and argued with me about everything (such as the viability of Chinese food the next day) and ignored me (asked me questions I had literally just answered). The guys who I have known for years that will not talk to me for months on end and then reappear and expect that I have missed them, they get upset if I don't remember their birthdays or don't smile when they call.

I really feel like the world has become a place where we expect everything for nothing. Which translates into spoiled teens, women, and men. There is no longer a need to work for anything, if a man takes you out he doesn't have to be a gentlemen just show up and be prepared to receive. If a man has mistreated you in the past, all he has to do is not talk to you after the event for a year. By doing this he insures that when he does call you he can pretend to not know why you stopped talking and profess how much he has missed you, because you obviously feel the same. Imagine putting a book down and picking it back up where you left it and beginning to read again, women are just like that right?

My first relationship really laid the foundation for this. It was very traumatic and very public, he started the cheating. And not just an ordinary cheat, he cheated with my best friend who then stopped talking to me with no explanation for the next three years in high school. Every significant relationship I have had with a boy/man has involved me being cheated on. The last relationship I was in ended basically because my boyfriend was afraid of being dumped. So though I always pictured myself married with two children now all I can see is a child and a dog.

It may be wrong to be cynical but that is like telling a former CPS worker that children don't get abused everyday. I know that is a lie.

At this point my plan is to just try to enjoy the short period of dating when I enjoy talking to guys. The precedent has been so far that I will talk with them for a few days and either: they will stop communicating with me when I am not immediately available for a date; they say something offensive and I stop communicating with them; we go on a date and it goes no where; or we go on a date and I end up with a person that randomly texts me for months after that I no longer actually date.

With Valentine's day coming up (used to be my favorite holiday, the past 6 years it has been the most painful day of the year) I plan to love myself. I will don a saccharinely sweet outfit, treat myself to a date, and buy myself the gift I really want. What could be so wrong with that?
#nothing

Sunday Funday| Summer's new sound

Summer surprised me today on a trip to get my favorite beverage with a new sound. Luckily the catalyst, another dog nearby barking, repeated itself and she made the sound again. Its was too funny not to record and share.

Soundtrack of my life 2013

Music the sound of life

For me music is integral to my daily life. I prefer to have music playing while shopping, typing, exercising, during the shower, well pretty much all the time. I listen to so much music that when I am not listening to music there is some random song in my head. If I am really enjoying the song I am usually singing/dancing along. I love having an old mp3 or cd and listening to songs I haven't in a while; memories always flood back. I can remember the time frame in which I was jamming a certain track/ album and it is such a great feeling.

So below are the songs that played in the background of my life this year. Mostly albums this time since I have more than usual and grouped into the type or feeling they inspired in me.

 

 

Guilty Pleasure Albums/Tracks

1. Ariana Grande-Yours Truly

The girl has some pipes! One of her songs reminds me so much of Mariah. My favorite tracks are Honeymoon Avenue, Tattooed Heart, and You'll Never Know

2. Miley Cyrus- Bangerz

It was very difficult to list her here. She spend the majority of 2013 writhing around naked and being credited for a dance that is at least as old as I am (28). All of this for attention for her album, which was actually good. My faves are Wrecking Ball, Adore You; Love, Money, Party; Get it Right, Drive, F.U.; and Do My Thang.

3. Chanel West Coast- Now You Know

Who knew the goofy, pretty girl from Ridiculousness could actually rap and semi-sing?

4. Selena Gomez- Stars Dance

She's an ex-Disney star but Come & Get it and B.E.A.T jam

 

Disappointing albums

1. Backstreet Boys- In A World Like This

    I really wanted to enjoy this cd, but I can't even remember which track I actually like.

2. Katy Perry- Prism

    There are a few that are okay but I was underwhelmed

3. Lady Gaga- Artpop

  I wanted to like more of the songs on here besides: Applause, G.U.Y, and Do What  You Want, Fashion!



4. John Legend- Love in the Future
   I enjoy Made to Love and Asylum.
5. Janelle Monae- The Electric Lady
Only Exception: Prime Time, Dance Apocalyptic
6. R. Kelly- Black Panties- never thought I would put him here. I love R. but this was too raunchy. I do enjoy Legs Shakin' and Cookies

Complete Albums

AKA albums that I like more tracks that not

1. Justin Timberlake- The 20/20 experience

2. Beyoncé- Beyoncé

*When I initially listened to this song it felt like I had gone to the movie rental store and picked up a Katherine Heigl movie only to pop it in and discover that it was actually a sex tape she made with her husband. While watching this unexpected movie I found the filming to be great and the music to be catchy but was I really seeing what I thought I was? I have gotten used to the Beyoncé tracks and sing along but still have mixed feelings about the content. I really don't want to be in the bedroom with Yonce and Jay. *
Favorite tracks Grown Woman, Haunted, Mine, XO, Partition (I know), and Flawless

3. Drake- Nothing Was the Same

Faves: Worst Behavior, Wu Tang Forever, Own It, Come Through (reminds me of a pointless relationship I had :), The Motion LOVE!!!!!

4. The Dream- IV Play

I could not have made it through this year without this album *High Art,

Too Early, Loving You/Crazy, Tron, Holy Love, Divine*

5. TLC- 20

So glad they made the movie and this cd with the new track: Meant to Be

6. Paramore- Paramore

7. Tamar Braxton- Love and War

   All I can say is 'She did that!'

Artists I discovered in 2013

1.Kendrick Lamar- hats off to you sir

2. Big Freedia- always makes me bounce Track: Excuse

3. Childish Gambino

 

Songs I can't resist dancing to (in any setting)

1. Freaks- French Montana feat. Nicki Minaj

2. El Teke Teke- Crazy Design

3. Happy- Pharrell Williams

4. Love More/Trumpet Lights- Chris Brown

5. Collard Greens- Schoolboy Q

6. Excuse- Big Freedia

7. Work B*tch(remix) - Britney Spears

8. Twerk It- Busta Rhymes feat Nicki Minaj

9. Bezerk/ Love Game- Eminem

10. Black Skinhead- Kanye West

11. I.D.G.A.F- Mike Posner feat Pharrell Williams

12. Give it 2 U- Robin Thicke



Others- good tracks/ albums

1. Fall Out Boy- Save Rock and Roll

2. Jay Sean- Neon

3. Kanye West- Yeezus

4. Luke James- Whispers in the Dark - I haven't had much time with this album but I love Hurt me & Be Bad

5. Miguel- Do you...., Adorn, Don't Look Back, Arch and Point, How Many Drinks?

 

Surprise finds

1. The Saturdays- Living for the Weekend

2. Stooshe- London with the Lights On

3. Tori Kelly- Dear No One- this is so about me *listen*



To check out last year's list click Here.