My experience at the 2013 MS Walk

It has taken me a while to write this update following the walk because I had a few unexpected feelings during the event this year. This year as every year I participated in the MS Walk in Waco. My friend was diagnosed several years ago with MS and since I moved out of Waco I had not seen her in several months.
The MS walk for me at least had always been a time of fellowship and fun for the children. There were also typically new medications being shared and information for participants. Over the past few years the walk has been less exciting with fewer activities and fewer vendors. This year the walk took place on the same day as two other events and on a rather dreary day.
Though I was very excited to reunite with my team I realized that I had not seen my friend having a flare up in a while and was unprepared for it. I had been communicating with her over the months leading up to the race and she never mentioned her health status. Her mother informed me of just how it had been going for her and I was very shocked. Basically I had been hoping that regardless of what I knew of the disease process that it would totally skip my friend. So I spent the day being slapped in the face by my friend's mortality. As I watched her be unable to walk the entire route due to a flare up and an injured ankle, then being helped across the finish line by her husband and mother I almost cried.
Denial is such a beautiful liar. As long as I no longer see my friend every day at work and do not have to see the waxes and wanes of the disease being handled by her medication and body, I can pretend that she is doing fine. In my dream world she is not having anymore flare ups and in fact the disease is deciding to leave her alone all together.
Reality though is a mean slap in the face of hard work. My friend is fighting the disease every day. She is pushing through the pain and limitations to raise her two children and enjoy life with her husband. She is negotiating high drug prices and suffering if there is a fluctuation that requires her to go without. She is actively raising funds and advocating for a cure not just for herself but for those she has met with MS and those she will never meet. She is setting a wonderful example for her little girls of what a strong woman looks like and what she does.
So while I was feeling sad for my friend and sorry for myself I was missing the whole point. A dreary day and a small turnout does not diminish the hard work that we all did to raise funds and raise awareness. Every day we raise funds, post on Facebook, and tell our friends/coworkers about the event there is that much more of a chance that a new person will become invested in our cause.



Here is a short video of the walk

 

Below are a few photos that represent the walk for me.

I wore this every day until the walk as a reminder

The reason I walk

Hubbard's Crusaders


I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

 

Perseverance in action DWTS- Part 2

This season on Dancing with the Stars some of us met Valerie Harper for the first time. I personally remember her from her time on the Mary Tyler Moore show and her spin-off Rhoda. (What can I say I was a little adult as a child). What I found inspiring and captivating about her was that she had very recently been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and had been given only months to live.


Source office.com

I was inspired by the fact that she continued to smile and enjoy life. Not only was she going about life as usual but she was also trying something new for her by participating in the DWTS competition. I know that the contest is supposed to be about dance ability but I don't know how you can judge someones dancing without taking into consideration what they go through to dance (if you are privy to this). Valerie discussed symptoms from the cancer on the show. In an article on FoxNews an expert explained that "Symptoms can vary from headaches and difficulty walking to double vision and facial weakness or weakness or numbness of arms or legs, depending on which areas of the body are most affected".

One of the most wonderful dances I have seen was performed by a little girl that had been involved in a car accident that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. She had formerly been a competitive dancer with Starbound Talent Competition being one of her competition stops. She has a recurring dance at each competition and the last time that I saw her dance it brought tears to my eyes. It was not the ability of her dance but the improbability. The fact that she could have perished in that car and walks with the assistance of mobility devices and she STILL dances.

It is all about perseverance in the face of massive adversity. What would you do if diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer? Some would slip into a depression, avoid the diagnosis, some would stay in the hospital searching for a cure, others would check off their bucket list. Valerie decided to give us all hope. When she spoke with People Magazine following the DWTS finale she gave her reason for doing the show "to tell people to keep moving – even if you don't get the steps, keep on moving, one foot in front of the other, as best you can".

Thank you Valerie.


I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

Button wreath

This summer while bored due to a lack of work; I came up with the idea of putting all of those buttons I've collected over the years on display. I thought a wreath would be a good way to do this. I finally got around to finishing this tonight.

You need: 

1. Collected buttons
2. Wreath (your choice size)
3. Hot glue 
4. Scissors
5. Ribbon (I used three different patterns)

First I decided which ribbon would be the base and planned out the desired outcome. I then attached one ribbon to be used to hang the wreath. I then began placing the base ribbon and attaching the smaller pins. I left some ribbon hanging for the bigger buttons. I looped the ribbon around for these. Once finished I went back around gluing a new ribbon around the wreath. The biggest button I placed in the middle using the two colored  ribbons. I went through a third time to fill the majority of the holes. 

Voila!

Now that it is done I realize how much of a snap shot into my life it is. My two alma maters are represented (Tarleton & Baylor), groups I belong/ed to, my favorite resturant, my passions (dance/social work), and one of the greatest trips I've taken.

Super cool. Have a great holiday!

Personalized hand made gift

I love crafting but I struggle at time to make things others like.

Each year I think long and hard about what to get for my grandmothers. This year I happened about a gift idea on BHG.com and then found a great bible quote that fit them. I used foam core board, colorful tissue paper, recycled a dog calender, some scrapbook paper, scissors, stencils, and craft glue. I traced all the letters, then cut them out (this step took so much longer than I thought it would), I then outlined the board with the tissue paper. I used the craft glue to affix the letters.

To make sure things lined up right I started placing the letters at the bottom and from the last letter first. I worked my way up until I was complete. Once framed I think this is a gift that my grandmother's will enjoy displaying and I was glad to make. Hopefully this will be a win win.

A personal prospective of MS

What is ms like for those with the disease?

Last week during a routine Facebook browsing I happened upon a post from my friend. It made me for a second feel more like I can understand how she feels daily. What must it truly be like to lose control of your motor skills? I hope that I will never know myself, but knowing that a dear friend experiences this makes me ache for a cure for this disease.

In a month full of reminders to support breast cancer taking over every media outlet, I feel this cause is being overlooked. I agree that giving and researching for a cure for breast cancer is a very worthy cause but I don't want the others to be forgotten. I work with people living with HIV/AIDS and I want very much to eliminate the amount of people contracting and passing the disease. I also want a cure for MS so that people don't have to experience the above. Just as much as I want to have all children that are removed from their families in loving foster/adopt homes or going back to repaired families.

My point in this is there are many causes that deserve attention. For me, especially this month, MS is first and foremost on my mind. The MS walk in Waco is this weekend and I am looking forward to the comradere everyone looking for a cure. 

Please consider giving to my MS walk fundraising efforts by clicking here

I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

Perseverance in Action on DWTS- Part 1

If you have been watching Dancing with the Stars this year you may know that there are two contestants that are overcoming health conditions to fight for the title. I want to talk about one of those contestants in this blog...Jack Osbourne.

 Jack, like the friend I raise funds for, was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. His diagnosis came in 2012. He experienced blindness in one eye, problems with his bowels, numbness in his legs, issues with his bladder and stomach. According to Wikipedia he currently treats himself daily for the disease by injecting MS medication which I know through my friend is often steroids.

"He has also made lifestyle changes, such as minimizing stress, exercising regularly and significantly altering his diet. However, he has spoken of his fear of a "rapid" decline and has admitted that his doctors have urged him to stop participating in highly intensive physical workout"

 

So the fact that each week he prepares extensively for challenging and physical dance routines is commendable. I think that it is a great testament to his choice to not let illness and pain keep him from his goals. I also think that no matter what challenges you face you should always strive to do new and exciting things.

 

When we were asked to initially do this campaign through Blogher for Advil it was presented to us as representing the ability to put pain aside and achieve your goals. When I saw that Jack was participating in this years DWTS competition I had to watch. I would have been applauding him regardless of his performance, but to my joy he has done quite well. He is really working hard to be a real competitor this year. I am encouraged by this and hopeful that a cure will be found so that he and my friend will have many more years to try new things and enjoy their families. 

Please consider giving to my MS walk fundraising efforts by clicking here

I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

Quote about Relief in Action

As you may know from reading my last blog I am participating in a campaign to spread the word about releif in action. To me relief in action means not just identifying a need, but pitching in, in some way to bring relief to that identified need. For me I do this by avocating for laws that I believe will be a benefit for clients future or present, and by fundraising yearly to find a cure for MS.
 It took me a while to get involved in advocating to politicians, I mean it is such a pain to do. You have to research policies and what they are intended to do, you also have to apply this knowledge to your knowledge of your clients needs and how current policies impact them. So it wouldn't truly be relief in action if there was no action, when I can and when a proposed change to existing law is important enough I ACT!  This quote really highlights the idea of relief in action, the way I see it.

 "You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” - Zig Ziglar
I found this quote in a Daily Love email that I received a while back. If you are interested in reading more about this or subscribing you can find out more here .

Also if you are interested in other views on what Relief in Action means check out this blog .


I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

Why I raise funds to cure MS

A few years ago I began fundraising and walking to find a cure for MS or Multiple Sclerosis. If you aren't aware of  what exactly that is a brief description would be: an inflammatory disease that involves the nerves, spinal cord, and brain. For more on the disease go to the  Definition I found on Wikipedia. I became interested in finding a cure when a friend and coworker of mine was diagnosed with the disease.
I had known my friend since my days in undergrad in the social work program at Tarleton State. She was my listening ear about the troubles of having roommates and one of the people I bounced ideas off of for paper writing. After we graduated we kept in touch about our respective job searches and it worked out that we both got interviews at the same place. We went on to be hired on the same day....crazy right. So we were super excited to start our social work careers together and have someone we knew to start off. We both had training in Austin every other week or so, we decided it would be nice to carpool. I drove most of the time and soon after a few days or weeks together I found myself getting annoyed with her. I am a introverted person as is she but after a while I need quiet time to decompress. But when you ride down to training with someone, sit in training with someone, travel back to the hotel with that same someone, and then eat dinner again with that someone its TOTALLY normal that they would annoy you at some point.
So we made it through training and she was once again my confidante about the crazy things that happened. She was invaluable to me and I like to think I was somewhat helpful as well. A few years into our careers in Child welfare she began to have some odd health issues. She had trouble walking because she felt numb in her feet, she was forgetful, and there was a scare that she had a stroke. When the long awaited diagnosis came I found myself very emotionally raw. I was unimpressed by the way that my coworkers felt about my reaction. I didn't feel supported by them and didn't want to lean on my friend.
I recall the day I found out she had MS, I was in my apartment crying about how young she was and how she needed to be able to play with her beautiful daughter as long as she wanted to play. While MS is not a death sentence, it can greatly alter your ability to do physical things. It is also very impacted by your stress level and child welfare work is inherently stressful. The disease is also very unpredictable and you don't know how each person will react or how each flare up will manifest.
After my initial emotional reaction I decided to throw myself into finding a cure. My friend told me that she would be participating in the MS Walk Waco that year. We did a bake sale and I requested donations from my friends and coworkers. In subsequent years we did similar things including  garage sales and my very popular gift set raffle. All of this fundraising culminates in a walk in which those with MS are supported by family and friends and receive information about the disease and treatment options.
It feels so great to know that what ever money I am able to raise could result in my friend living a long active life with her beautiful family. I have now moved to the Dallas area but I still plan to participate in the walk and fund raise what I can.

What causes are you passionate about and why? I think there are so many ways in which we can be helpful to those around us and so many ways in which we can do so. My hope would be that every person that is able would find a cause and throw themselves into it through work, play, action, and charity. If you need more of a push about why relief in action is needed click here to read another great story from a fellow blogger.

My friend and I at the 1st walk (I think)

My friend, her daughter, and myself at the walk before last

 Last year's walk, Summer helped me support

If you are interested in helping my donation efforts for this year follow this link My fundraising page.

 

I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Advil®, as part of the Advil® Relief in Action campaign. I received compensation for this post. While all opinions stated are my own, I make no claims about Advil® as a product or its effectiveness.

What I learned from going without

Back in May when I graduated from Graduate school I moved in with my parents in the DFW area. My dad got a house and was super excited about having a "home" again.

A few days ago "home" was less of a joy. My family and I spent about 3 days without the full use of our plumbing. This meant that we could not bathe/shower and could not flush our commodes. I was very upset about this because when you pay a good amount of money to stay in a home, you fully expect to be able to use the facilities.

I'm going to share the embarrassing things I did to get by during this time. I took "sink" baths (my mom has a much more colorful name for these hehe). I went to local businesses to do my "business". So while this was an uncomfortable time for me. I couldn't help but think about those for whom this is a normal thing.

If you have ever lived in Texas in the summer you know that a "wash off" will not cut it. So imagine that you have to go to work, go for an interview, or entertain your friends. The main thing that I noticed was simply not feeling confident and not wanting to get too close to people. I work from home and I didn't feel professional or up to work until I felt clean. I also worried when I had to go into patient's homes that I may not smell my best. I also struggled with the public-ness of having to go to public restrooms.

I only endured this for a few days and I never want this particular problem again. So just imagine that this is your life, and people are complaining about your smell, or running you out of their public restrooms for not being a patron. Imagine people judging you for not having a job, though you have no good place to go prepare yourself for one.

I wanted to share this because it helped me to think of others and their struggle when I experience someone down on their luck. I hope that someone else can also gain something from it as well.

Love

Tips from a former adoption worker

For a little over two years I worked as an adoption prep worker, which means I prepared children for adoption, selected homes for children waiting for adoption, monitored adoptive placements, and really had to get to know my children so that I could find appropriate homes for them. This work for me was very stressful because families can often look like a good fit and then for some reason the placement disrupts or breaks down. From my experience an adoptive placement disruption is harder on children than initial removal from their families of origin as their birth families rarely gave them up of their own free will. All together I worked in the child welfare arena for 5 plus years, I initially worked with family facing permanent removal of their children from their homes.

I learned many things during this time about all sorts of subjects including basic human nature. One of the things I never really got over was how seemingly easy it was for potential adoptive families to give up on children they wanted to make a part of their family initially. So here are some tips for those considering adopting especially those considering children that have been in foster care for several years.

• Don't get so caught up on diagnoses. Ask about the child's behavior from the caseworker and foster parents. Diagnoses are good information but don't automatically disqualify children from your search just because of a certain "unfixable" diagnosis.
• Whatever your ideal picture of the child/family after adoption is, let it go. The child will not meet these expectations, even if you have had children before you have not had a child with this child's story. Accept the child for exactly who they are and they will eventually do the same.
• Don't give up too easily. Try everything you can when things get difficult with your new child. Try radical things even, try everything. If you give up after a few hard times the child will feel they were right to have reservations and will be that much more resistant to ever trying again.
• Think about your birth children and their reactions to the new child. This sounds simple but you would be surprised at how many families fail to think of how they would handle this situation. You have a stronger bond with the children you have had longer, naturally, and if the "new" child causes them some sort of distress your natural instinct may be to protect your birth child from the adoptive child.
• Believe the history of a child. If you are made aware that a child has sexualized behavior due to their past and you are told what this looks like, don't be surprised if you see this same behavior. Again it sounds simple but you would be surprised at what it feels like to see this in your home with people you know.
• Be prepared to grow and change. Just like having a child naturally you will learn new things, be tested, and have to change. You need to be prepared for this even though you can't completely prepare for every eventuality.
• Remember the child is not a pair of jeans. You should enter into this with a no return policy. Just like the way marriage used to be. Think of the commitment from day one, for better or worse. Can you handle the worst of what the child has displayed in the past? If not this is not the child for you.
• Expect the worst. Children/teens, often subconsciously, will push you away and resist bonding with you. Allow them this room, give them space, but also make yourself available.
• Celebrate the small accomplishments. Did they come home and tell you about their day? Did they not curse you out today? Did they initiate healthy physical touch with you? Hooray!
• Involve the child's birth family from month 1 or 2. If the child is allowed contact with their birth family, don't fear this. Encourage this, be a part of it, discuss it in therapy, have some therapeutic phone calls with the therapist as well.  You don’t want to be seen as a boundary to their past/ family.
• Attend therapy. As a family, a couple, and maybe individually. You are undergoing a MAJOR change and feelings you hadn't expected are surfacing, don't be afraid to address them.
• Take time for yourself (selves). This is vital maintain your independence and romance. You don't want to get to a place where you blame the child for a change in your freedom/ coupledom.
• Throw out the time table. Some families are perfectly bonded and adjusted in six months; some don't reach that point until after the adoption is finalized. What's really important is getting to that place that is right for your family.

These are just a few tips that came to mind when I considered this topic. I hope that they can help those thinking of adopting, awaiting a placement, or adjusting as a family. Adopting a child is such a noble and amazing thing to do and it is one of the hardest things I think as well.

Day 21 and 22| Superpowers/ my life plan....

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do first?

 

 

Though I would love to fly, I think if I could have a superpower it would be cosmic rewind or mind reading. First there are a few things that I would go back and relive or change what I had done in a few circumstances. When I envision myself doing this I have the knowledge I have now so I would still learn the lesson I learned from the situation. Though for the most part I believe that what I learned was necessary, there are many things I don't think I should have had to go through to be a wise and experienced person. The mind reading would pretty much help with some of the mistakes/missteps that I feel I have made in my life.

 

 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

 

In five years I see myself working in a therapeutic position, and considering my move to private practice. This has been a dream of mine for quite some time and I am excited about getting there at some point. In 10 years I see myself in private practice with a family including children. In 15 years I hope to be considering a move to teaching social work so that means I should have some articles published by that time. I also hope to have my massive student loans paid off by that time. 

Day 19 and 20| Significant childhood memories/my dream city

If you could live anywhere where would it be and why?

I think it would haven't be Atlanta, Georgia. I have visited there twice with my previous job. I found the views to be awesome. Driving on the crowded highway with a view of trees taller than any I had ever seen, was no where near as irritating as it is in Austin or Dallas. I also found the people there to be nice. I was able to get my hair done by people specializing in natural hair My ATL hair experience and to take a dance class.My ATL dance experience I think it's the perfect blend of big city and smaller town. But this is all based on two one day visits so what so I know. 

Describe 3 significant memoirs from your childhood

One significant memory was starting head start, I remember being very anxious separating from my mother. I also remember getting a spanking there because I didn't go to sleep during nap time. After this time i basically learned to think independently and to be sneaky. I wasn't sleepy and I thought it was ridiculous for me to have to sleep when i wasn't sleepy and wasn't talking. from then on i wouldlay quiet  when they came to check who was asleep. I also remember taking a trip to a pet store specializing in fish. I remember thinking for a long time that it was some sort of magical aquarium or something :)

Another big thing from my childhood was the death of Selena Quintanilla. I remember watching the ,live of her life over and over. This time frame really increased my love for the Latin culture. I started listening to Latino music heavily during this time. I also remember really being upset that such a beautiful soul could be killed for no reason. I think it was the first time that I was aware that good people could be killed or die "before their time".

Another super significant childhood memory happened on several occasions. I was impacted each time I moved and left the friends I had made. After 5th grade I entered a new school region and had ony one friend from elementary school with me in middle school. Luckily this was my best frond and I made It through. The loss of my middle school friends was MUCH worse. I remember staying late and making plans to keep in touch with all of them and signing things, and tears....wow I just got sad all over again. It was a hard transition because my group of friends were very close. 

Day 18| Forgiveness

What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

 

 

The most difficult thing I have had to forgive is betrayal. I initially thought of being cheated on or having a friend stab me in the back. I realized that these both go back to betrayal. When you are in a committed relationship and your partner cheats on you, they have betrayed your trust. When you have a best friend and she becomes romantically involved with you partner that is betrayal of your friendship.

 

I have been betrayed many times by many people. I have come to accept that part of life is trusting even if there is a significant chance that your trust will be betrayed. A part of what makes trusting so hard is the possibility that you will regret having trusted someone. But it shouldn't keep you from hoping for the best and being trustworthy yourself. It took me quite a while to forgive those who have betrayed me, but I find that it is necessary for me.

 

Harboring anger and resentment toward someone that has betrayed you only hurts you. Most of the time the other person is out living their life carefree while you are stuck. Also forgiving is helpful for those that you will become involved with after the betrayal. You won't ever find a trustworthy person by trusting no one. You have to risk it daily to find those worthy people. 

Day 17| What I wish I was great at

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

I want to start by saying, I wish I were great at blogging daily such as is required for a blogging challenge. I graduated this morning and am moving tomorrow so I have been tots busy (as the teens I teach would say). And back to the show....

I wish that I was great at accepting my own greatness. I often compare myself to others and struggle with critiques. I find this funny because I often try to teach my dancers to accept critiques and to give critiques in a less negative way. I feel that many of the things that I have encountered growing up have impacted my desire to appear perfect. When someone calls attention to how humanly imperfect I am I struggle with this. I initially thought I wanted to be perfect, but I realize now that I accept that I am imperfect but want to appear to be the opposite.

As many people would attest, I am a work in progress and continue to work on this. I think that my education these past two years has helped a great deal in this area. I have been given much feedback in conjunction to being told what I do well. One of my professors labeled this "sprinkles", such as the sprinkles on top of a great ice cream sundae. When people give you critiques, try to think of them as sprinkles. Things that only make your awesomeness more awesome.

Love

Day 16| 5 Greatest accomplishments

1. Graduating high school. As I've said before my senior year was a very difficult one for my family. I am impressed that I made it through, maintained a high GPA, and got into college.
2. Graduating college. College graduation is not the norm for my mom's side of the family and I am proud to be in the minority. I feel that college was the first true test of my intelligence, integrity, and perseverance  
3. Graduating from graduate school. On Saturday I will obtain my second degree in Social Work. My first year in grad school I worked full time for the state in a stressful position. These past two years have been more stressful than I realized. Leaving my job to finish school was a very difficult decision because I felt secure there. The fact that I made it is great and the fact that I have also maintained a high GPA is icing. 
4. Dancing on a cruise ship. Two years ago I went on my first cruise, as part of the trip my dance studio performed. It was so awesome, I felt like a real performer dealing with difficult circumstances and still putting on a good show. 
5. Snorkeling for my 26th birthday. As part of the aforementioned cruise I was able to snorkel, rock climb and do other outdoor sports. I was scared and apprehensive about this since I can't swim and have not done many things up high. I was proud of myself for trying and not becoming too freaked out. 

Day 15| If I could be an animal.....

If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

I think I would be a dog if I had to choose. I think dogs have a pretty sweet life. Dogs have companionship with humans which can look very different depending on the person. Dogs are well taken care of, often, and have simple jobs. Eat, sleep, play, listen and respond, and be there for one main person. 

I would think the worst part of being a dog would be being unable to talk. Also not understanding all of what a human might want from me. I also know its often lonely for a dog when people leave them 

Day 14| My Strengths

Describe 5 strengths you have

 

 

 

 

Weaknesses then strengths eh 30 day challenge? Well as a social worker I should know all about the strengths perspective shouldn't I? I think it is so easy to see weaknesses in yourself and others because that is the nature of society. We focus so much on what is wrong with things or what is not the way we want it, when someone turns the tables on us its disconcerting. I have been thinking about this day's challenge since yesterday and don't feel certain that I have solidified 5 but here goes....

 

1. I'm strong. I have experienced the normal hard situations that most people go through as well as some other hard things that are less frequent in my life. I believe that I have been able to do so very well.
2. I am loyal. I go hard for my friends, supporting them, standing up for them, being an advocate for them. I value friendship very highly and love to find others who have the same value.
3. I am smart. I feel a little more confident saying this now that I have received my final grades this semester 3.91 in grad school. *blows fingernails and wipes on shirt* I also feel that along with this I am fairly street smart and intuitive. I really trust the feelings I get with no real explanation. Though at times this is clouded by my personal feelings.
4. I am very self aware when it comes to my feelings. I think I have made great improvements in this area in recent years. I know what I am feeling and why usually.
5. I'm caring. I love children, animals, and many people (: I will often try to help dogs I see  that are stray, and even cats if they are really in need. I love to smile at children at the store and help them when I can. I have been working with children since my first ever job in high school and I don't foresee this ending if I have anything to say about it.

 

So as I thought this was difficult for me and I got stuck half way through....gotta work on this. 

Day 13| My weaknesses

Describe 5 weaknesses you have

 Only 5? Okay let's prioritize....

1. I hate conflict and avoid it with a passion, so if I need to address it I don't. Often people have no clue when I am upset with them. Meaning that I hold it in forever until I can no longer and then they have no clue why I am upset.
2. I rarely ask for what I need. I don't like to be needy or vulnerable too often. It makes me uncomfortable, so I only trust those really close to me to be completely open with.
3. I don't know how to flirt or really talk to men, once I like them or could like them I lose the ability to express myself. Then when they make a statement like "I like you" I have no clue what to do with it and pretend it didn't happen.
4. I am a worrier. If I have a test, or interview, presentation, or feel I did/said something wrong I worry. I replay the scene over and over again in my head or catastrophize the possible outcomes.
5. My last and best weakness is food namely french fries, bread, and diet Dr. Pepper. I have to try really hard to avoid these things and sometimes don't make it through the day without them. :(

Day 12| Typical day

Describe a typical day in your current life

 

 

Yes I am well aware I am a whole day late on this, but I am sure you will forgive me. I totally planned to do it but I was catching up with childhood friend yesterday.

 

So since right now my life is pretty boring (packing for my move, hanging out) I will describe my life from last week and before.

 

Typically I wake up and depending on Summer's (my dog) Summer Chronicles Part 2 needs I will either take a shower or take her for a morning walk. Then I would study or prepare in some other way for class.  I would then attend class for 4 hours, then immediately get in my car and drive to a little town nearby to teach dance classes. Following that I would typically shop for groceries as needed go home eat dinner and do school work or search for jobs. I also squeeze in episodes of my favorite shows of the moment ( The Voice, Bates Motel, Secret Life of the American Teenager, Love and Hip Hop ATL etc.). Then I would finish the night off with Frasier, King of Queens and Adult swim as a get ready for bed. Summer gets a nightly walk around this time.

 

Sorry for the not so exciting topic this day. 

Day 11| 10 Pet Peeves

Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

 

 

1. When peope drive close behind you and/or creep at stop lights/signs                 This is super annoying to me, especially when I am stationary and they continue to get closer and closer.
2. When people stand too close behind you in line. Why do this? Ugh!
3. Rude people in food services/customer services positions. If you don't like people don't work in a job were you come in contact with tons of them.
4. When people don't respond to your texts but then get upset if you don't respond right away to their messages.
5. The fact that so much communication with other people is done through text messaging and online programs. I really miss letters and phone calls
6. Meeting guys online who become uninterested if you won't drive out of town to meet them on the first date. Where did the gentlemen go? Don't they understand how unsafe that is for a woman?
7. When people tell you that they "keep it 100" or are honest all the time, when that is the opposite of their actual personality. Show don't tell.
8. When men don't hold the door for you, not necessarily men you know just those you see out in public. I thought we were still doing the whole common decency thing.
9. To tie in with the above- When people in my apartment complex don't hold the door as I come in after them. Really?!?!
10. When people use reply all irresponsibly. Know your audience and when this is appropriate. I would say if there are more than three people on the email with you, reply all is not appropriate.
 
 

Day 10| Embarrassing moment

Describe your most embarrassing moment

 

 

 

Well I would say I have had my share of small embarrassments: tripping up the stairs, sliding my feet while walking and jumping forward, and finding out that my pants had ripped in the crotch during a day out.

The one most embarrassing moment of my life has been so for over 14 years. I think it was not all that embarrassing on its own but the context in which it happened really. Picture this ( a la Sophia from Golden Girls) 1999 in the Waco High School gym during drill team tryouts. A 13 year old 8th grader is trying out for her first high school activity. She is showing the other girls how far she can go down in the splits and successfully navigating the social situation. Seconds later she yawns and breaks wind and it is clear to everyone that it was her. For the remainder of her 4 years in high school one of the girls that tried out with her laughs at her daily for having done this. If this happened to me today, no big deal but here I was on the verge of teenager-hood. I was trying to be all grown up and impressive and this was the first thing all of the seniors remembered me for. But it also got me over that hump and broke the ice. I am sure something else more embarrassing has happened to me, but this was the most memorable.

 

See you tomorrow!

Day 9| Ten influential people

List 10 people who have influenced you and describe

Blogging challenge

1. Maya Angelou- when I was in elementary school I did UIL and recited poems. Its so hard to believe that was a part of my life back in the day. I did a poem by Maya Angelou and it was basically about being a strong black woman. I really think that moment in my life influenced how proud I am in my own skin for now.
2. Selena Quintanilla Perez- She introduced me to musica latina, she inspired me to be a big hearted individual, she inspired me to step out of my shell, and she showed me that being different could be okay (she struggled with being accepted in Mexico because she wasn't a native Spanish speaker, I struggled to be accepted by other black people because I "talked white"). When ever I think of being a good person for some reason Selena is usually my point of reference.
3. Billie Holiday- my mother loved her and played her music constantly. She was such a beautiful tortured soul. Though she had struggles I hope to never have, she still showed that she could make it for a while out of those struggles. She made such beautiful music and I hear her influence in Amy Winehouse, Adele, Corrine Bailey Rae, and some of the other bluesy artists.
4. Shirley Temple Black- she was such a cute little  movie star. I was captivated by her dancing and she really pulling you into her stories. I watched her movies every weekend with my mother and it was a big bonding experience for me. When she grew up she worked in philanthropic ways which were also inspiring.
5. I feel that here it is obvious to mention my parents, but since I wrote about them a few days ago refer to Day 3 Blog
6. My oldest friend "sister"- My sister and I have truly grown up together. She is a quiet person like myself and like me in many ways. She is also very different from me in many ways. She has been a great example of a true Christian for me for years. She also has a calm and collected way about her. She also makes me want to be a great person like her. She's talented in all of the areas I neglected and lost talent in i.e. Piano playing and singing.
7. My bestest friend- we have been friends for over ten years now. She is always there when I need her. We talk now almost every day. She really loves life and attacks it. She always makes me more confident in myself since she is always telling me how awesome I am. She also urges me to follow my dreams and nurture my talents.
8. My professors and classmates at Baylor this past two years- I have been pushed to grow and to share the knowledge I already possess. Hearing that I am great and competent in this area has been great because usually the compliments I get are about my physical body which don't really mean as much to me. I have grown and feel like I can take on the world since I have completed my Master's degree here.
9. Mary Ryan- She is a social worker who started a scholarship fund. I was one of the first recipients this past year and was able to meet her. She is a vivacious and adventurous person. She jumped from a plane (sky diving) at 70 or 80 years of age and is just ballsy (for lack of a better word). She congratulated me on my success before I even really felt like I had accomplished anything and that meant a lot to me.
10. My second mother Mrs. Washington- she was a teacher in my high school and I was her office assistance (or whatever that was). She was there for me during my senior year, which was very difficult personally. She always told me that I could do so much and was very supportive. She got sick after graduation due to cancer. She never did stop smoking and really lost weight and some of her liveliness. We kept in touch for quite a while when I left for school and I came to see her when I returned. When I saw how different she looked I couldn't bring myself to go see her again. I felt so bad when she passed away several years later. She was there for me during a difficult time and I wasn't strong enough to do the same. I have just always been afraid of death and don't like to see its grip on those I care about. 

Day 8| 5 Passions

What are 5 passions you have?

1. Dance- I live it and breathe it. I dance in the car, on the way to the kitchen, while walking the dog. I choreograph in the car, in the hall, in the shower. I can even choreograph sitting in class or a meeting. Dance to me is necessary, as necessary as music.
2. Music- I find that there is always a song to fit your mood. To me there is something so special about that. I love how popping in a CD from a few years back can bring back memories from that time, its such a nostalgic time for me.
3. Social work- I love my chosen profession, I love growing in the field and learning more. Though I struggled to complete some assignments due to my resistance due to fear of failure, each and everyone was an accomplishment that taught me something. As an introvert it was so difficult to picture myself effectively providing a presentation to other professionals. But I did it and rather successfully I would say.
4. Working with children- I have always loved children since I was old enough to be older than some children. I enjoy working with children from a social work and dance prospective. At times working with children can be frustrating, but overall they teach you so much. I think when you are aware that you are learning from them you get more out of it than trying to teach them something.
5. Education- in the form of book learning as well as life learning. I love to learn new things and put those things to use. I also love those moments when something I learned years ago becomes a needed piece of knowledge from me to pull from. 

Day 7| My dream job

What is my dream job, and why?

Since I was a child my dream job has been to be a singer/dancer/actress. I have always loved performing, as a child I enjoyed singing in the school choir, then I began dancing. Whenever I have been given an opportunity to act, in class or in role plays during my graduate work I have enjoyed this. When I dance I come alive, when I am able to overcome the nerves I feel the most at home in the middle of a performance. 

Now that I am a little older my dreams have changed or been added to. I want to be a clinical social worker providing psychotherapy to those in need, I especially have a passion for children/ families involved in CPS. I feel that therapy can be a great benefit to others and has been helpful to me as well. I would still love to be a performer but due to the choosen profession of mine, it would be inappropriate for me to be some sort of celebrity. I have been looking into becoming a certified Dance/movement therapist so I would be able to join two of my passions. I have not decided how much I want to pursue this since it would mean time away from my home and additional education expenses that would not be eligible for financial aid. 

This was an interesting question at my age I think. As a child/ teen I was often asked this but this question is less frequently asked the older you become. 

Day 6| Hardest thing I've experienced

What is the hardest thing I have experienced?

 

 

 

 

Now I really understand why this is called a challenge......

 

I am not sure that I feel comfortable describing the hardest thing(s) I have experienced on a public blog. That may sound like a cop out but I just don't. Many of the things I have experienced have taken me years to discuss with those that are closest to me.

 

 

There is a reason that I have wanted to help others in their lives, it is often said that when you have experienced trauma you want to help others who have as well.

 

I think for me that is true. I was able to come out of the hard things I have experienced and be relatively well adjusted. I will say that some of the topics I have a good handle on based on personal experience are: sexual trauma, and financial struggles.

Day 5~blogging challenge| What 5 things are making me happy?

What are 5 things that make you most happy right now?

 

 

 

I would like to preface this by saying, as a budding clinician I would highly advise that you not seek people or things to make you happy. I recently listened to a classmate in preparation for her final presentation state that joy is long lasting and happiness is fleeting. I think both should come from within and enjoyment with who you are as a person.

 

But back to the question at hand....

 

 

1. Graduation is two weeks away....need I say more? Graduate school has been fun but it will be funner (couldn't resist) to be done with school again and get to building my career again.
2. I am rebuilding my music collection again, my computer crashed and I wasn't able to back up my music or pictures.
3. Having passed my social work licensure exam has really relieved pressure from my shoulders and I have been so happy about that.
4. I have been dancing a lot more, which always makes me happy.
5. I have made a few contacts with guys on a dating site. I don't feel that any of them will pan out into a relationship, but it is really nice to talk to others and have my text message alert go off for something other than a coupon. 

Day 4~ 30 day blogging challenge| Advice to 16 yr old me

Yes I know I am a little late on this one, but no one is keeping me honest anyway so....

List 10 things you would tell your 16-year old self, if you could

1. Pay attention in math class!
2. The loss of those two supposed best friends is so not important in the big scheme of things.
3. Next year will be really hard, but you can make it through!
4. Take the college search seriously, though if you don't you will still love your choice.
5. The boys you're dating now, will be in the same exact place in 10 years just add a few kids.
6. The point is drop the guys you are dating now!
7. Use your pay check for dance classes
8. Take another Spanish class, petition for a Spanish 4 course!
9. Learn to eat healthy now, it will be really hard 10 years from now
10. Its great to be a good girl, but have a little more reckless fun now.

I thought that my advice to my former self would be more profound when I initially read this day's selection. But I guess overall I really believe we go through what we do for a reason, and I still want to be who I am today.

Day 3~ 30 day blogging challenge

Describe Your Relationship with Your Parents

 

Hmm... I would say that I have a good relationship with my parents overall. My parents are probably my biggest fans in all that I do. My mother especially never thinks that any man is good enough for me, though she really wants me to have a grandchild for her. Which makes a lot of sense (haha mom). My dad is always very positive and philosophical in his conversations with me. He has made a lot of great decisions and changes in his life especially in the the last 6 years. My mom and I often bump heads, probably because it is safe to be my ugly self with her and because she knows me better than anyone in the world.

I think I started out as a momma's girl, especially since my dad was off playing football when I was little bitty. Then around puberty I became a dad's girl and my mom was constantly on my nerves. Still waiting on puberty to stop :) I am sure my mom can chime in if anything I have said needs correction. 

Day 2~ 30 day blogging challenge| Fears

Describe three legitimate fears and how they became fears:

1. That I won't ever be able to have children. I always planned to have kids after getting married. Knowing that I am now 27 and fertility issues run in my family I am afraid that the fact that I haven't met anyone nearing a life partner this may not happen.
2. The death of my loved ones, this one is sort of obvious. Death is a part of life and we are all getting older so....
3. I am afraid I won't be able to find a better job than I had. This one is most likely not legitimate, but I haven't seen tons of jobs that I feel qualified for and I haven't heard back from many so far.

Day 1- 30 day blogging challenge|20 random facts

20 random facts about me:

1. I enjoy watching Spongebob and to me its not that kiddie
2. I have rediscovered my love of Sailor Moon and Storm- they are such strong role models, even if Sailor Moon has to be coaxed to live up to her role.
3. I so dislike having waiters, customer service people, etc. mispronounce my name, that I have started giving a fake name to avoid this. Just call me Kim!
4. My dog Summer is often the most annoying part of my day and the best part of my day.
5. I was so nervous I would not pass my licensure exam that I almost had a panic attack on the day of the test.
6. I never have test taking anxiety. (which makes the above super weird).
7. I don't really believe old injures heal, since none of mine seem to have even though I completed physical therapy etc.
8. I have never seen any Star Wars movies, and probably never will since I can't decide where to start. The true beginning of the story or the first movie ever made??
9. I still feel vindicated when guys I liked 20 years ago think I'm cute now. Better late than never.
10. If I am talking to a guy and I mention dance and he never asks me to elaborate or shows any interest, he gets like 3 strikes on the invisible list in my head.
11. I spent days and hours deciding on a wig to buy so I could relax on doing my hair....wore the wig one time.
12. Pet peeve: when people think they know me because they have been in the same room with me a few times.
13. PP: When people constantly try to figure out what my facial expressions mean, and try to tell me to amend it to fit what they think I should be feeling.
14. Music is the love of my life, it connects me to so much. I love how eclectic my music tastes are and sometimes I spend hours looking for new music and listening to old music.
15. I don't like how fickle people can be, but if I have been a good friend to you and you fail me when I need you I'm over you in a second. ~irony
16. When someone condescends to me, calls me a girl (instead of a lady), or says I look young I almost snap. 27 is too old to be treated like a child, and too old to just take it, but not old enough to be thankful that I "look young". I hear this every day and it gets super annoying.
17. I think that if there were fewer adults in the world and more children, I would be 40% happier. :)
18. My work at CPS was more teaching than I thought at the time, I have considered going back more that I am comfortable with.
19. I don't want to move to Dallas, and I don't want to stay here.
20. I find being fashionable to be a task I am not up for, and I am jealous of those who are up for the task.

Life's not fair......but that's not fair!

Do you ever get so caught up in life's injustices that you forget that you know they exist? Confusing right? What I mean is everyone has heard the cliche that life isn't fair, so why do we get so upset when this is proven? I don't say this to mean that you shouldn't rise up against the huge injustices there are in the world. I refer here more to the small, trivial injustices.

For example I pride myself on being a good friend, coworker, fellow world traveler, person etc. So sometimes (who am I kidding most of the time) I get upset when I feel that I am taken for granted or not treated with the same respect. I had a situation like this during this week. I was so upset at having been "overlooked" that I allowed myself to function out of that feeling and not think logically. I had to remind myself that I am not a good person so that people will be good people to me, but often with the expectation that people will not return the favor.

This year in school I have really struggled to identify how my faith plays into my professional work. I have been so used to separating these two topics that the request by my professors to probe into this was foreign to me. I finally discovered that I had such a hard time with this because for me I am a social worker as it is what The Lord had called me to do. I am a good and moral person (with the normal amount of sin) because I believe that is the way to do as The Lord expects of me. It is this simple and I don't feel it requires further discussion.

So to sum it all up do what you feel is right, but don't expect anyone to treat you a certain way because of this. I feel most people try to do right as well, but we all slip. *My religious views are my own and I don't believe in pushing those on others.

Boston Marathon Explosions April 15, 2013

As a social worker I am never really surprised by the ways that people find to hurt each other. I am saddened each time that I learn of such events nonetheless. I sat sort of numb when I heard about what happened today. I had hoped that things like this would be less likely the more people were aware and vigilant. I think this just goes to show that disasters natural or man made, may never leave our existence.
I think the best we can hope to do is to be there for others when things like this happen. I also feel that there will always be others there for people in their time of need. I feel that events like this, though reminders of the evil in the world, also serve to remind us of what good there is in the world. I think it is all in the balance of life. Good could not exist without evil, it is our living reminder of what to strive against.

I have attached a link to a website that can offer some help to those of disasters. http://helpguide.org/mental/disaster_recovery_trauma_stress_coping.htm As a social worker I am a proponent for mental health recovery and asking for help when it is needed. I hope that those that lost loved ones, and those effected by injuries (mental or physical) reach for help. I hope that those around them are prepared to provide this help.

Praying for the world.

Commercials that make me LOL every time

To share some laughter with others, I thought I would share my favorite commercials right now. They always make me laugh and therefore rile up my dog.

 

 

 

I think frivolity is something we should not neglect. Life can be hard an serious, take time to laugh when you can. Which I think should be often.

What I've learned from my breakup

So a few months ago I was "swept off my feet" in this romance on a cruise ship. I was totally caught off guard by this since I wasn't expecting much. As its been a while since I have been really coupled and I am in therapy to work through some issues from the past, I have a really clear idea of what I need in a relationship. So as things would come up in the relationship that brought up past issues I was able to reflect personally and in therapy. This would then translate into my conversations with my boyfriend. We ultimately broke up because he said that he was scared at how close he felt to me and that no one else had ever revealed as much to him has I had.

So what have I learned?
1. I don't need a relationship to complete me, I'm pretty complete.
2. As much as I protest, I want a relationship that is from now to forever.
3. Sometimes knowing yourself really well can scare someone who has never had this experience.
4. I need a really emotionally aware man in my life to handle what I bring to the relationship.
5. Being swept off of your feet is really wonderful even if it only lasts for a few months..
6. My bestie was right, sometimes it's not me it's them not being ready and that's okay.
7. I am not materialistic at all, a $200 watch and a $20 watch are the same to me, except I feel guilty if someone spends that much on me.
8. My love language is definitely not words of affirmation or gifts. I think it's actions or whatever the equivalent is. (Note: there are several books on Love Languages, I suggest you know yours and your partner's)
9. I will have to have pre-marital counseling. After this relationship in which I had actual reason to believe it would be my last my ability to trust is compromised at best.
10. I shouldn't feel guilty for not trusting the words of a person I have known a month or two especially when their actions are so different.
11. No matter how many things are on my wanted list, a connection can make me forget them. Whether that's good or bad.

The great thing in this ending was that after almost a month of waiting for a reason, I was given one and able to proceed toward closure.

A fun way to occupy my mind

So I have been going through a period of adjustment the last few weeks. Around Valentine's day I wanted to do something festive. I also wanted to keep my hands busy ( no desperate texts) So I decided to do a creative manicure. I normally don't have much luck painting my nails as they are too slick and I don't want to scuff them up, this paint job only required on coat of each so I was I'm luck. I used my OPI in cha-Ching Cherry as the bad color and Save Me as the accent color. It last very well for three days and then the chips started on my most used fingers. But overall I am proud of this look and will do it again. By the way I receive no compensation for using these products.

The Summer Chronicles: Part 2

My lovely Summer has made some improvements since my last post. She is able to sleep outside of her kennel now; well technically she starts off in her kennel then works her way to a blanket next to my bed then by the time I awaken she is on the bed with me. I am mostly just glad that she does not have any accidents all night.
She has also become a pro at riding in the car with me. Our first few months were rough, with me trying several methods to keep the both of us safe while I was driving. My mother gave me an old car seat of her dog Foxy and it has worked. It took her a while to adjust to not being able to get in my lap but now she has no issues.

I have started working out at home again recently and this is still a confusing time for summer. She doesn't understand what I am doing or why she can't get in my lap or face during the floor work. See her pictures below; and don't let the puppy eyes fool you :)

Here she is helping me with my video for Youtube

Here she is helping me workout

My riding partner!